The Mommy Diaries

The Haunting

2011-09-22T16:53:00.000+08:00

Do you remember that question? The one I brushed off and pretended not to hear? The one I thought was irrelevant? I remember that question, and especially that day. It was THE day. You said goodbye and I didn't want to listen. I had thought of it then as absurd. You couldn't possibly be going anywhere. You were with me and that was THAT.

But back to that question.

There was a slight breeze. I could hear the rustling of leaves. Now and then a fly hovered: above your head, close to my nose (annoying!)...I kept shooing it away. You were wearing that pink polo (I remember mom insisted it was purple. Yeah, right.), the one that was slightly too big for you even before and was really enormous on you just then. We had borrowed that old, rickety wheelchair, remember? And you looked odd sitting in it. You pulled me close because you had a hard time speaking. Your throat was hoarse. The bulge was slightly visible from the side of your neck. I kept trying not to look at it.

"Are you happy?"

I was unsettled. Why would you ask me that? Why then? It didn't seem right, so I didn't answer. You asked again.

"Long, are you happy?"

I kept silent. I pretended not to hear. I moved away and tried to appear busy. Like there was something more important to do or think about so I wouldn't have to dwell on your question. THAT question!

The nun arrived, though I didn't recognize her right away. She was in house clothes and slippers. She had just finished lunch. She said she would just wash up and let us know when she was ready. My hands felt clammy. My feet were moist inside my flats. Nerves.

When she returned and called for us, I was actually (this, I'm admitting now) terrified to go. I had an ominous feeling about the whole thing, like a clawing hand was about to smother my throat. It felt, quite frankly, like the call of death. Was the nun able to tell? She looked at me just at that very moment and told me to be ready. What we were about to hear was important, she said. The words rolled out of her mouth like marbles. I swear I heard them drop to the ground.

What happened next was erased from memory. Only two distinct and regrettably haunting words remained etched in my consciousness to this very day. LET GO. I didn't cry. I know I didn't. The tears wouldn't come just then. And they didn't come for a very, very long time even after you left.

LET GO.

That was two, short, very arduous, and very taxing months before your death, Papa. I remember it today because it was also in September, close to my birthday that we visited that place of miracle and prayed for your recovery. What I couldn't accept then was that the miracle wasn't of you getting better, but of you being given the opportunity to say goodbye: properly and lucidly.

And again, that question.

I hope to have an answer for it soon. Until then, please let it visit my memory often enough. And when it does, I hope you are there to ask it from me, too.

P.S. I shall have your name tattooed very, very soon.

And then there was LIFE...

2011-02-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

Our son, our little angel Mateo Cassiel. :)

When Words Are Not Enough...

2011-01-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

...a photograph speaks volumes.

My gratitude to master photographer Niccolo Cosme and his team at The Lighthouse Studio for this magnificent photograph. What a joy to look at now and even ten, twenty, maybe even fifty years from today.

I am truly thankful. :)

It is the end of an era.

2010-11-25T17:45:00.002+08:00

It is the beginning of the end. It is the end.

All that were cease to be. All that remains is the void. A final, feral, farewell.

...

FAREWELL...

2010-11-05T11:25:00.000+08:00

There will be no elegies. In fact, there ARE no words. Only a deep sense of loss, a gaping hole where your verses and your effervescent soul used to reign queen. I LOVE YOU.

REST IN GOD'S PEACE, Dr. Ophelia Alcantara Dimalanta.

Philippine Fashion Week SS-2011 Schedule of Shows

2010-10-27T11:31:00.002+08:00

All those with Red Marks are SAGA EVENTS shows. Definitely a must-see!

The Downward Spiral (A Nation of Fools)

2010-10-05T08:53:00.003+08:00

I refuse to believe it has come to this. I refuse to accept that a people - claiming to forward progressive and free thinking - have in fact descended into the lowliest pits of gimmickry and indignified acts just to show their "supposed" revolt against the powers that be. I am all for disruption, if practiced with tactical precision, intelligent execution, and most important of all: with complete understanding of consequence.

The past events of late have proven only one thing: (not genius, not freedom of expression) IGNORANCE.

Yes, I dare go against popular opinion, because as a self-respecting tax payer of this country, I think for myself and ride no bandwagons when it comes to issues that matter. Why do I (dare) say IGNORANCE? The answer is simple:

When we start singing praises for someone who shows utter disrespect; when we value the medium more than the message; then we are forgetting (or in fact have no knowledge and understanding
of) the most basic precept of freedom: THAT IT IS NOT LIMITLESS.

Your freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins. That is a fact. One that seems to have been lost in translation and interpretation by those purporting to be social intellectuals who dabble in politics for the sheer joy of lambasting it every chance they get.

So if we are to follow this trend, we contribute to the sure and steady decline of this nation: already suffering the ills of corruption and needless bickering - with no certain hope for a less-than-deplorable future for as long as we support and nurture the fools that say (and think) they know the way.

I rest my case.

This Bump is Made for Wearing

2010-08-12T18:03:00.000+08:00

I found a few really funny maternity shirts online. I wouldn't mind wearing a few, but mostly, they're totally hilarious I would rather see them on display. Hahaha!

Anyway, they're not available in the Philippines (as usual) so I'm hoping I could find ingenious people who could make them here. If not, well, such is life and my luck, I suppose.

But, share my laughter, why don't ya. They're really cute! Here are my favorites.

Those that didn't make the cut had really bad typography but had winning lines such as: VIRGIN; DADDY DID IT; I LOVE MY EPIDURAL; MISSING MY WAISTLINE - HAVE YOU SEEN IT?; BINGEING FOR 2; and an infant's shirt that said: PSST...THEY SHAKE ME! (LOL!)

Below are those that I wouldn't mind wearing on casual days. :) They're brilliant. :)

My top-rated!!!

Tee hee...too cute!

I don't know why I like it but I do!

Hahaha! Defensive!

You got that right! Pak!

Revisiting Rent

2010-08-08T18:02:00.001+08:00

I love Rent.

I have not seen it performed live onstage, alas, but still, those runs that I've seen on youtube (and thank goodness for youtube!) are enough to keep me riveted. After seeing the film version (hello, Idina Menzel and Tracie Thoms) I knew I was hooked. The songs, the scenes, the grit. I loved it all. :)

So now that Neil Patrick Harris has picked up Rent for the nth time and staged it in LA with a few new faces in the cast (Vanessa Hudgens, Nicole Scherzinger, and Aaron Tveit to name a few), I was curious. More than anything, I want to see how this teenybopper Vanessa would measure up to her predecessors. I wasn't really looking forward to watching Nicole, well, simply because I can't imagine her onstage in that kind of scenario. She's a pop showgirl, for chrissakes, and it's quite a stretch of imagination to see her ACTING to begin with.

Now, I've seen some clips of Hudgens in action. Well, the word action is a bit of an overkill right there. Her scenes (especially with Tveit) are about as full of life as wet hair. To make matters worse, her voice took on a chimpunk quality when she really tried to belt. SAD is the word. I was going to give up on this new version when - lo and behold! - I found a clip of Scherzinger singing her firm ass off in a scene with Tracie Thoms! OMG!!! (Ang bagets diba?)

I shall say no more so as not to ruin the magic. Just watch for yourself! It is UH-MAZING! :)

(Updated version)

Faith as Sport

2010-08-04T11:56:00.003+08:00

I woke up to grayish skies, the sound of the TV in the living room, nippy air, the stale smell of dishes waiting to be washed, and Anne Rice quitting Christianity.

I look at the figure of my husband passed out on the couch, his feet dangling on the edge, and the flapping curtain forming orange shadows on his face and thought to myself: "Well, isn't that convenient?"

Quitting Christianity, I meant.

I know the institution that propagates Christianity is flawed at best, but can you really still say you are a Christian without necessarily belonging to some organization that promotes it? Is it really possible?

These are dangerous thoughts for a breakfast-deprived, pregnant woman who is teetering on the brink of junk food snacking. I masticate instead on the idea of faith as sport.

People switch faiths like they switch teams, trade leaders and heads like they trade star athletes, not to mention the politics that govern both isn't at all that different. The same caucuses run the gamut of organized religion anyway, pretty much the same way that big-time managers and mob bosses control the sporting industry, albeit more discreetly and strategically.

But I digress.

So can one really quit one's faith? Can I simply throw in the towel on, say, Catholicism, and just go cold-turkey on God? I shudder at the thought. But...I do understand the futility that drove Rice to give up on what she aptly describes as a "quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group" that is Christendom. But she explains that she is still committed to Christ, just not to the conglomerates that run these businesses under Christ's nose (or his cross, whichever you prefer).

I hearken back to the lecturing days of my now-peacefully deceased father who is a staunch believer, activist, and promoter of Catholicism. An ex-seminarian who discovered Christ on the eve of his 30th birthday, my father believed himself to be the "opus" of faith. A masterpiece of God, who, like Lazarus, was reborn into faith in such a miraculous and epiphanic moment we can only describe today as phenomenal. If my father, bless his soul, were alive today, he would prostrate before the altar and pray fervently for the soul of Rice and for her forgiveness from the Father. There would be NO WAY anyone would ever justify to him what Rice is trying to do here. To him, faith is useless without support from an organization. He always thought unguided belief will lead one astray, hence, the extremists and the lackadaisical. In both cases, the lack of guidance is always apparent.

I wish I could talk to Rice and really get under her skin. I would like to know how she can just do this. I have always harbored some doubt about my own faith and have really lost the tenacity I once had for religion. It would be eye-opening to find out what reasons drove Rice to make such a shocking decision.

In the meantime, I look at the rosary that Pope John Paul II himself blessed in the Vatican - a gift from my father confessor back in my pious days - and wonder: will God understand?

I'm still waiting for His answer.

Designer Update

2010-07-28T14:34:00.003+08:00

I've been a fan of Tsumori Chisato for over two years now and have been voraciously (and almost selfishly) collecting her designs ever since. I'm fortunate to own a few of her runway pieces and am always on the lookout for her merchandise all over the globe (she has the most number of stores scattered across Europe, and of course, Japan, her home country). Of course, she has no store here in the Philippines, not even a remote stockist, so I have to go all the way to HK (her flagship store is in Causeway Bay) to buy her clothes. And they're not cheap, so I've found other means to purchase items that may be several seasons behind, but still as stylish as ever. One of my favorite sources is a thrift store in Camden, in London. I managed to convince my aunt to visit that bohemian heaven at least one every two months to scour for Chisato and other designer clothes. It's been a bit of a hit or miss on that front, but I manage to get my fix. I also have local suppliers (and I don't intend to share, hahaha! Sorry!) whom I trust to satiate my Chisato cravings on an almost regular basis. So now, I have quite a few of these wonderfully detailed clothes and I just can't wait to own more! :)

For her latest collection (A/W 2010-2011), I've selected my top two favorites. I know it will take a couple of years before this becomes even remotely available through my sources, but a girl can dream, now can't she? So I'm posting them here just in case someone is kind enough to point me where they can be had, or maybe (and this is shooting the moon) buy them for me, too! Hahaha! Asa pa ko!

Look at those delicious prints!

The devil is in the details.

The entire collection may be viewed here.

And below are some of her runway pieces that I am fortunate enough to own (of course, they don't look as good on me as they do on the model, so I'm not posting my photos. Hahaha!)

I wish I am as svelte as these women!

Can't wait to get my hands on a few more key pieces for this season. Until then, I shall salivate over the photos. :)

OMG! I want this, please!!!

2010-07-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

Vain much, I know. But it's still soooo cool! And so cute, too!
But my baby better be a girl because I don't think it comes in blue. :)

Louis Vuitton Mini Lin Diaper Bag

I Want This House!

2010-07-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

Simple. Understated. Green.

(Source: http://www.thebigpicture.be/2008/05/29/where-is-the-architect-in-here/)

What (preggy) Style Suits Me?

2010-07-13T11:22:00.000+08:00

The question of fashion is now foremost in my mind as my pregnancy progresses. My first time was a disaster, opting for baggy sack dresses and empire-waist monstrosities because, well, because I didn't know any better. This time is no different. There is a SCARCITY of fashion-forward items in the market for pregnant women like me. Everything seems to be a hackneyed version of the usual fare: baggy, shapeless (or misshapen) oddities, and a cornucopia of marmy mumus. What to do? What to do? Because I am in the fashion industry, there is no way in hell I can escape scrutiny (or maybe I'm just imagining it, since I am really an insignificant member of this community).

I scoured the Internet for various options but I'm still not entirely happy or convinced that I've found a style that suits me. So I'm leaving it all up to you (and there aren't many of you who read this, for sure). Help me decide what look would suit me best. :)

Here are your choices:

Option 1: Casually Sleek - suggesting that I earn enough money to look decent, and well, quite respectable.

Option 2: Bohemian Bump - which may seem a tad tawdry or young-ish, but is suggestive of my free-spiritedness (kapeh).

Option 3: Unwed Juvenile Delinquent - There is no other way to describe this. But it's very pa-cutey pretty.

Option 4: Avant Garde Drama Queen - This is waaaaay over there in the extreme levels. But you know, it could match my hormonal swings. :)

There you have it! Choose now! Vote for your favorite look for me! And just so there's a reference point, here's what I look like these days.

Thank you!!!

Remembering Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto (Pablo Neruda)

2010-07-13T10:41:00.002+08:00

In celebration of what would have been his 106th birthday last June 12, I give you my favorite of all his published poems: a piece so deeply enchanting, the sound of every word reverberating in the heart and in the groin like a deep, constant longing; a thirst never to be quenched.

(I have decided to retype it from the book because the translations found in the web are inaccurate at best)

Sexual Water
(Translated by Donald D. Walsh)

Rolling in big solitary raindrops,
in drops like teeth,
in big thick drops of marmalade and blood,
rolling in big raindrops,
the water falls,
like a sword in drops,
like a tearing river of glass,
it falls biting,
striking the axis of symmetry, sticking to the seams of the soul,
breaking abandoned things, drenching the dark.

It is only a breath, moister than weeping,
a liquid, a sweat, a nameless oil,
a sharp movement,
forming, thickening,
the water falls,
in big slow raindrops,
toward its sea, toward its dry ocean,
toward its waterless wave.

I see the vast summer, and a death rattle coming from the granary,
stores, locusts,
towns, stimuli,
rooms, girls,
sleeping with their hands upon their hearts,
dreaming of bandits, of fires,
I see ships,
I see marrow trees
bristling like rabid cats,
I see blood, daggers, and women's stockings,
and men's hair,
I see beds, I see corridors where a virgin screams,
I see blankets and organs and hotels.

I see the silent dreams,
I accept the final days,
and also the origins, and also the memories,
like an eyelid atrociously and forcibly uplifted,
I am looking.

And then there is this sound:
a red noise of bones,
a clashing of flesh,
and yellow legs like merging spikes of grain,
I listen among the smack of kisses,
I listen, shaken between gasps and sobs,
I am looking, hearing,
with half my soul upon the sea and half my soul upon the land,
and with the two halves of my soul I look at the world.

And though I close my eyes and cover my heart entirely,
I see a muffled waterfall,
in big muffled raindrops,
It is like a hurricane of gelatin,
like a waterfall of sperm and jellyfish.
I see a turbid rainbow form.
I see its waters pass across the bones.

#

(I have decided to publish the English translation - even though the original Spanish text is my most favored one - for more people to appreciate.)

Baby Bump Chronicles

2010-06-29T13:11:00.001+08:00

8 weeks to the day.

My condition is slightly more delicate than I would want it to be, but I can't control what happens to my body. After 32 years and one 7-year old later, there's certainly been a lot of change. I've been advised (more like admonished) to take a 2-week hiatus from work, complete bed rest with no activity whatsoever. It's only been four days so far and I am bored out of my wits.

I think I have made a permanent dent on the bed just from sitting on it all day. I can only get up to do personal chores. Sometimes, even eating is a challenge because my stomach acts up all day. I feel, quite frankly, not myself.

When I return to the doctor for my check-up, I will find out if I'm able to return to my normal life after this. I hope for the best but anticipate the not-so-good just to manage expectations.

Please pray for me and the little one.

So how was your father's day?

2010-06-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

We went low-key this year. No frills. No fuss.

My husband didn't want to go on a long drive and I wasn't up to doing anything strenuous. So, our son decided for us. Mall day it was.

A hearty lunch, surprise present, and 3D movie after, we were home tired but full with the day's activities. But more importantly, it was a day of love. I think we gave dad more hugs than he could manage for one day. I was so happy to see my son excited about going on a secret "gift-hunting mission" with me. We excused ourselves to go to the loo (I feigned "morning sickness") and we secretly bought dad a gift.

It was funny how Pabs grilled the sales clerk about the different scents we were choosing from. And finally, when we decided on one, he also instructed the clerk about how we wished to pay (by card). He was such a cutie, acting like a grownup.

All in all, though it was a simple celebration but a good one. I would still like something grander in scale for my own day, though. But that's just me. :)

Happy dad's day to all dads. I hope it was as fun for you as it was for us.

I am meaningless no more!

2010-06-18T14:45:00.001+08:00

For most of my adult life, I have searched for the meaning of my name. My mother told me it was Russian in origin. The story goes thus: since there were no ultrasound machines during the time of my birth, most couples usually rely on guesswork as to the gender of their babies. I was expected to come out a boy, and they had prepared the name Michael (since my due date fell on the feast of St. Michael the Archangel). So you can imagine their disappointment when I came out in my full feminine glory. My father didn't feel comfortable with the feminized version "Michaela" (thank goodness!) and so they had to look for an alternative. According to my mother (whose recounting I should not have trusted given that she was under heavy sedation that time - CS delivery) my Lola Tet scoured the Catholic calendar that hung on the wall of my mom's suite. There, (again, this is according to my drugged mom) was where they found the name St. Loyva of Russia, whose feast day also coincided on the day of my birthday. So all throughout my cognitive years, I have had this secret affinity with Russia. I really thought I could be connected somehow to this country and its culture.

As far back as I can remember, I have tried looking for the meaning (even relevance) of my name in libraries, through the help of the clergy, recollections of old relatives, etc. Then the Internet came. There was a particular month when I googled the meaning of my name almost everyday to no avail. I always keep getting results for a musician in Finland called Larissa Loyva. Fail. And then suddenly, without really meaning to do it, I googled my name today. Just my name and no other modifiers.

This is what I found on the fourth page of my google search results:

Imagine my joy at finally stumbling into this gold mine. After 32 years, I now have an inkling of what my name could possibly mean. I feel like celebrating! If I weren't pregnant at this point, I'd probably be hopping to the nearest bar right now to have a glass of wine (or two). But I shall console myself with just the happy feeling of being able to define myself, literally!

Thank goodness for the exhaustive powers of the Internet. I am meaningless no more!

Singa-Ling!

2010-06-18T13:08:00.000+08:00

Photo highlights of our recent trip to Singapore-la!

This was how we played ball...

2010-06-18T11:50:00.002+08:00

In the spirit of the NBA finals, I go back to the days when basketball was all I could think of. I played ball in highschool as a second-stringer for the women's team. Back then, it was all about basketball for me. I asked my rich cousin to subscribe to Sports Illustrated, I collected NBA cards, and watched every game on the telly (and we didn't have cable then, so I only caught the replays on channel 4).

I was a HUGE (and I mean gargantuan) fan of the UTAH JAZZ. And my favorite all-time player is (yes, as in present tense) JOHN STOCKTON. I would spend all my allowance on buying rare cards of Stockton and I had 8 large bound clear books of cards of just him alone. Yes, I was obsessed with him. (If I remember correctly, there was even a time when I could recite his complete stats by memory.)

So to pay homage to my bball past, here is a photo of the best offensive tandem in history (my opinion, of course).

"Assist King" Stockton and the "Mailman" Malone

Si Mang Jun

2010-06-17T22:39:00.000+08:00

The subject of my workshop photo is Mang Jun who is a gopher slash maintenance slash all-around handyman in Niccolo's studio. The idea is anti-beauty, a term I coined as a way of appreciating the beauty in what is not traditionally regarded as beautiful.

Without further ado, here is Mang Jun's best shot. Unfortunately, at present he is no longer in the running towards becoming Malate's next top all-around man. He's been axed due to a fan repair gone waaaaay bad. Well, at least he got his shot (pun intended) at stardom.

Niccolo Cosme: Guest Speaker

2010-06-17T22:15:00.001+08:00

Niccolo Cosme, acclaimed conceptual visual artist and resident photographer of The Lighthouse Studio, agreed to become a guest speaker in my Speech Communication class last semester. In fair, may kamandag pa rin ang lolo nyo sa mga gerls. Hehehe...

Thanks again, Niccolo, for doing this. :)

Boys will be Boys

2010-06-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

So what have my boys been up to lately?
All sorts of crazy.

This summer, Pablo attended the MILO BEST Basketball Clinic and literally bullied his way into graduation. Har har. He would scare the kids into giving him the ball. But once he's inbounded the thing, he would stop running and just watch the rest of his teammates finish the play. Yan ang maparaan, diba?

As for Acid, he has revisited his teenage passion of skateboarding. He has joined several longboarding marathons and downhill races with his renegade group of misfits (young enough to be his kids, mind you). So far, he hasn't won any race yet, but given his age, he should be happy just being able to keep up with the boys in his group. Hehehe...

So I'm not the only one who's been busy...as you can see, my boys have no problem keeping their own calendars full. Lagot na nga lang paglabas ni Itlog Number 2. Har har har...

Baby Bump Chronicles

2010-06-17T21:53:00.001+08:00

4 Weeks - debuting my little bump at the Metrowear Event
Special thanks to Tina D. and Mice Mice for the ride. :)
(Photo by Chi de Jesus)

Shiny Gunmetal Dress by Calvin Klein

Ultimate. Update.

2010-06-17T21:43:00.000+08:00

It's been a year and a few days since this blog's been updated. And I can't tell you enough what a frenzied year it's been.

Some highlights of the past year (from the oldest to the most recent):

I moved to a different company: SAGA
Home dynamics have drastically turned over (too personal to share)
I've started teaching College English to freshmen and sophomores at MIRIAM COLLEGE
Pablo transferred to a different school: PAREF
Pablo took up Taekwondo
Pablo excelled (tremendously!) in school. He shall be receiving a gold award in a few days for his efforts last school year. :)
I joined a photo workshop and got to exhibit my works. You might be interested to join the next batch! LIGHTHOUSE STUDIO
I traveled quite a bit (but still not as much as I would like to) and enjoyed each trip immensely.
I AM NOW 5 wks. PREGNANT.

In the curt and shortened word of the youngins: IKR.
That last bit is the motherload.

So that's it as far as updates are concerned. Being pregnant and always woozy has given me the opportunity to act a little bit impulsively, hence the re-vamping of this blog, so you may read quite a bit more of me in the next coming 9 months. Hahahaha!

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

Let me close this with my chosen pun of the day:
"Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before."

Punta de Uian, a Review

2009-06-18T09:36:00.008+08:00

I promised a friend I would do this in order to give people a better perspective of this place.

Location: San Antonio, Pundaquit Zambales
Accessibility: A little hard to find if you're not familiar with the area, especially since road signs leading to the place are so tiny and the map they sent us is vague at best.
Travel Time: If using the SCTEX, 3 hours or less. (We had several stop overs, so ours was about 3 and 15 mins.)
Discovered Through: Internet browsing. Was originally looking for resorts in Subic when my search yielded a list that included Zambales. One of them was Punta de Uian.
Website: www.puntadeuian.net
Terrain: Paved roads all the way to San Antonio town proper, but prepare for rocky and narrow roads leading to the resort.

Now on to the nitty-gritty:

Check-in: We arrived at the resort 30 minutes before check-in time, but they let us take the room. Check-in was simple and fuss free since reservations are made beforehand. We were accompanied by an attendant who led us to our room. Good idea since there are several lodging areas around the resort.

Room: We booked the Garden View room since there were only three of us (one is a child pa). Was a little disappointed at the sparseness of the room and its generally small size. I am used to roomier accommodations for pretty much the same price. For one night, the garden view room costs P3850. The basics were there, at least: king sized bed (a little cramped for my taste), TV, personal ref, and closet. There was no dresser mirror so I had to do all my grooming (and kakikayan) by the bathroom mirror. Not very convenient. TV had only 12 channels, no HBO, and when the rains started on day 2, we had no cable service at all. On the plus side, it had a balcony where you can have your meals served, plus they made good on the promise of a garden view because there really was a very nice garden right outside our room. And more importantly, we were strategically located near both the pools and the beach.

Room Service/Housekeeping: The good thing about housekeeping is that no request is ever turned down. The staff was very accommodating. We asked for a foot rug, extra pillows, glasses and kubyertos, etc. They gave it all. And the best part about room service is that you can have your food served ANYWHERE within the resort. So we had dinner at our room balcony, had breakfast twice in the garden, and only ate twice at the restaurant.

Food: Now the food is a completely different story. First, at lunch on Day 1, we ordered fried chicken and got an over-breaded version that wasn't cooked well on the inside. Only the gravy passed my son's expert taste. The rice is a little too "buhaghag" for my taste, which made swallowing very hard, since this kind is usually a little harder and had less moisture than what I usually have. The binagoongan was ok, as was the seafood pinakbet. Then, fish and chips for dinner. We received a tasteless version of the usually yummy fare. The potato wedges were also on the soggy side. The pasta (I ordered putanesca) was too sour! I hastily swallowed the first helping and stopped right there. We did not touch it after that. Day 2 we decided to stick to the "safe" dishes such as beef steak and sinigang. That proved to be a good idea. So my advice: order dishes that practically anyone can cook. The more complicated ones are best left to the experts, and Punta de Uian has a serious lack of good cooks.

Amenities: There is a restaurant, albeit a small one, that could serve possibly a maximum of 50 pax, give or take a few. There are two pools, a kiddie and adult one. The kiddie pool is not for smaller kids. It's about 3.5 feet deep, the average height of five to six year olds. My son is nearly 4 feet, but the pool still seemed too deep for him, so he had to tiptoe to keep his mouth from going underwater. The adult pool is about 5-6 feet deep so I did not even bother to venture over there. I wasn't about to drown on my holiday. The pool was clean for the most part, with the usual debris from trees and the occasional fly. Otherwise, it was good enough. Water was lukewarm, which served me well since I get cold easily.

The Beach: Part of the allure for me, while checking their website, was the beachfront. It looked calm and serene. True enough, the beach was uncluttered, expansive, and quiet. Save for me and Pablo and a few random people (some were members of the staff), the beach was nearly empty. I soon found out why. It was not safe to swim, well at least if you are a novice and do not know how to handle big waves. No wonder there were surfboards for rent! The waves reached up to 4 feet when the winds grew stronger. Scary! Even just sitting by the shore, getting hit by those waves was not a pleasurable experience. At one point, Pablo insisted to get closer to the water, I borrowed a life vest to be sure. I was really scared he might be swallowed whole. To be fair, though, the next day we saw a lot of other beach combers try the water and they seemed to enjoy it. I guess I'm really just not comfortable with the idea.

Activities: There was enough to do in the resort, anyway, so even if swimming in the ocean was excluded from my list, there were other offerings to choose from: jetski, ATV, island hopping. We chose the third but had to push it to Day 3 because it rained the whole of Day 2. Bummer! Still unsure of the weather, we only ventured to the closest island, Camara, which was really just this beautiful sandbar sandwiched between a hill and rock shaped like an elf's shoe. The round trip boat ride (the boatman waited for us for the whole hour we were at Camara) cost us only P700. Not bad.

Checkout: After island hopping on day 3, we returned to the resort at about 10:30 am, swam in the pool until 11 am, leisurely bathed and packed till 12:30, and called the front desk to say we were checking out. No one pestered us when the clock struck 12, no one came knocking to try to kick us out of the room. They gave us ample time to leave without rushing us. And I thought that was very good. Check out was as uneventful as the check in, we paid and received an O.R. No extra charges or surprise charges, everything was in order. We receive a clearance slip to present to the gate guard, and off we went.

Overall: If you're not very picky about food (which is my main issue with this place) and want peace and quiet, the resort is definitely a good place to go. The property is huge and is still continuously being developed. The mountain view rooms are absolutely gorgeous, and the man-made lake is something I would love to explore the next time I go. However, I do hope the food will improve soon. We met the owner on our last dinner there and she was very nice and friendly. I wished we had time to chitchat. I would've told her about the food. But she only said hi and talked to Pablo briefly. All in all, it was a good three days. I got a bit of a tan, which was nice. We stargazed on our last night when the weather decided to cooperate. And there was plenty to do, if you're more adventurous than us. They offer guided treks to Pinatubo, I believe. So that's one other thing you can do. Plus, the grounds are well maintained, and the staff is very friendly. Definitely a family friendly resort. The verdict: we may come back again, but not immediately. We will wait for the second phase to be finished so we can take a room there.

Rating: 3 stars (out of 5)

For more photos, click here

NAIMBENTO NA ANG KAKABOG SA FEZBUK AT GOOGLE! (From Nida)

2009-03-27T17:22:00.000+08:00

NIDA: YOU ARE THE BEST. AND NOW I PAY IT FORWARD.

Sa isang coffee shop malapit sa isang I.T. research facility sa Silicon Valley, nagkakape si Programmer Zoorla. Enter si Programmer Juniffer.

Programmer Juniffer
Darling, natapos ko na rin. Dyusku, ten thousand years ko itong trinabaho!

Programmer Zoorla
Anech ba 'yan? Ilang araw ka nang nakakulong sa laboratoryo mo. Hindi ka na nakakapag-gimik. Ayan, nagkaroon ka na ng natural highlights. In English...uban. In British... uban jungle.

Programmer Juniffer
Natapos ko na ang pinakabagong search engine na tsutsugibells sa Googelyah.

Programmer Zoorla
Talaga? Ang galing! Pa-search nga diyan sa inimbento mong search engine!

Programmer Juniffer
Eto ang mobile phone ko. Dito ako nag-code. Naglagay na rin ako ng Wi-Fi capability sa phone ko.

Programmer Zoorla
Dito mo ki-nowd ang Googelyah search engine fighter mo???

Programmer Juniffer
Oo, bakit?

Programmer Zoorla
Eh, punyetang Nokia 3210 itong hayup na celphone mo. Mas matanda pa 'to sa lola ko.

Programmer Juniffer
((presses a button on the celphone))

Programmer Zoorla
Aba! May Safari browser ka, ineng! Mac baga.

Programmer Juniffer
In English...Macamandag! Sige, i-search mo kung nasaan ang crush mo.

Programmer Zoorla
I-search ko yung crush ko, 'ka mo?

Programmer Junnifer
Hindi. I-search mo kung NASAAN ang crush mo NGAYON.

Programmer Zoorla
May ganon?

((types)) Where is my crush Bonjobi... ngayon?

((enter))

One result daw, o. "Bonjobi is going to the west wing comfort room of the second floor of building D-3, approximately 30 meters from your location. He just had merienda with Barrakus, the operations manager, who is wearing a yellow summer dress by Kashieca. Bonjobi is in love with Barrakus, but you're not supposed to know that."

Juniffer... echosera itong search engine mo.

Programmer Juniffer
Maganda kayang pangalan ng search engine 'yan?

Programmer Zoorla
Echosera?

Programmer Juniffer
Oo. Tignan mo 'yung mga pangalan ng mga applications at websites ngayon. Mayroong Ubuntu, Squidoo, Twitter, Google, Django, Voxli, Phlook, Plurk... 'di ba parang mga tanga? Pero memorable ang mga pangalan kase kakaiba.

Programmer Zoorla
Eh kung Chorvah na lang?

Programmer Juniffer
Hmmm... Chorvah... "We will soon be releasing the beta version of our Chorvah search engine very soon. Chorvah's revolutionary search protocols and algorithms guarantee accurate results everytime. Eventually, users will equate Chorvah with accurate, relevant and up-to-date web searching. Complete your web experience with Chorvah."

Maganda.... I like...Dadating ang panahon na sasabihin na lang natin ay, "Punta ka sa Web at i-Chorvah mo na lang."

Programmer Zoorla
O, i-print mo na 'yan. Puntahan mo na si Designer Mishokolat para gawan ng logo.

Programmer Juniffer
Or, in English. "Log on to the Web. Just Chorvah it! Did you Chorvah it already? I love, love Chorvah."

Programmer Zoorla
O, sya. bablik na ako sa trabaho. Basta kapag yumaman ka diyan, huwag mo akong kalimutan.

Programmer Juniffer
Ano nga pala ang project mo ngayon?

Programmer Zoorla
Social networking site. Kakalabanin ang Fezbook.

Programmer Juniffer
Anong title?

Programmer Zoorla
Chenelyn.

It's That Time of the Year Again

2009-03-23T15:01:00.000+08:00

Remember last year when I posted this?

Well...It's that time of the year again. Earth Hour is upon us once more, and just like last year, I'm asking all of you to do this and be part of the global movement to save our planet.

8:30PM local time, wherever you live on planet earth. Saturday 28 March 2009

If you want to be updated on the progress of this movement, sign up at the Earth Hour website. The link is here.

I've been hearing elsewhere that you only need to turn off non-essential lights. I daresay NO. TURN OFF ALL LIGHTS, essential or otherwise. It's just for one hour! I think we'll all survive. I did it last year, all lights AND electronic gadgets. For one hour, our house was in complete darkness: NO TV, NO PC, NO FAN. We just left the ref plugged, for obvious reasons. But everything else was shut off. I think we can all manage that. But it's ultimately your decision.

Let's do this!!! I'm excited. I want to see how much impact we'll make this year! :)

This Morning I Cried

2009-02-27T12:27:00.004+08:00

In a cab, 10:30 a.m., on my way to work...

While thinking of the mountain of bills I left untouched on top of the shoe cabinet, I saw this old man sitting by the curb, looking haggard and gaunt. He must not have eaten for a while, you could tell. It was traffic and we were barely moving. I got to look at him longer than he would have liked.

And then a few blocks away, we were greeted by this odd procession of men with their heads covered in tattered shirts, shielding their faces from the sun. Each had some tool or implement in his hands: others makeshift, most carried pickaxes. It was strangely entangling, this image before me and I would have loved to stop and take a photograph, but I was taken aback by the absurdity of the very thought. It wouldn't do them a world of good.

So we moved past these workers and plunged into the sea of cars that was EDSA. Beside us was an ordinary-fare bus. No AC. I saw mostly elbows from where I sat, but I kind of knew (or instantly felt) some connection to these joints. That position, specifically, reminded me of the days I would commute to and from Makati, working part time as Chunak's slave, and then heading to UST in the late afternoon to attend my evening classes. I did that for two years. They were the best and most tragic two years of my life.

And then, just as quickly as the bus went past us, I cried. Real, hot tears that I haven't experienced in a while. I now only cry at movies, sad or otherwise. But these were of a different kind. I actually, honestly ached somewhere I couldn't reach. It was baffling, surprising, and absolutely welcome.

I do know how they came. But I don't know WHY they did.

When did you cry last?

What Book are You?

2009-01-03T18:29:00.000+08:00

You're To Kill a Mockingbird!
by Harper Lee
Perceived as a revolutionary and groundbreaking person, you have changed the minds of many people. While questioning the authority around you, you've also taken a significant amount of flack. But you've had the admirable guts to persevere. There's a weird guy in the neighborhood using dubious means to protect you,but you're pretty sure it's worth it in the end. In the end, it remains unclear to you whether finches and mockingbirds get along in real life.
Take the Book Quizat the Blue Pyramid.

"Let the Rock Goddess Cometh Again" - For Anabel Bosch

2009-01-02T17:13:00.001+08:00

FORWARDED BY SHAKIRA VILLA.
Photo Credit: Rain Contreras

(Reposting this for all friends of Anabel Bosch)

Shakira invites everyone dear to Anabel Bosch at Bigsky this Saturday, Jan 3. "Let The Rock Goddess Cometh Again"..a fund raising event at Bigskymind for Anabel. 9 pm. Friends, our beloved Anabel Bosch was rushed on January 1,2009 to the Makati Med for what was thought to be a stroke. She had undergone surgery to alleviate clotting in the brain and is presently at the critical stage of observation. Our prayers go to Anabel and her family. Please pray for her recovery. Artists set to perform for the event will soon be posted here. There will be other venues as well to raise funds for Anabel such as Route 196, Magnet, Hobbit House, 19East and Saguijo. Event dates to follow. Please pass this invite to friends.

For those interested to perform on the 3rd please text Shakira at 09178514606 or Cindy Malong at 09175346004. Thank you all in advance :)

2008 in Review

2008-12-30T07:20:00.002+08:00

2008 was both promising and catastrophic for me. There were a few missed opportunities and mind-blowing disappointments. There were mishaps, blunders, and errors that defied even common sense. There were people that caused me pain and disenchantment. There were moments of paucity riddled with distress. There was, indeed, lots of drama.

But here's where the twist really begins...

...amidst the pain there was acceptance
...despite the pitfalls there were triumphs
...death and sorrow beget birth and joy
...the drama ends and life begins.

It all ends in a few days - this beautifully melodramatic, insanely unstable year. We will say goodbye but no tears will be shed. We have taken from 2008 what we need to start the next year with: sharper instincts, clearer visions, and a keener perspective of how things could be. I personally believe I have purged 2008 of everything it had to offer, I took from it all that I needed to become a new person (not necessarily better...I can't be the judge of that).

But above all else, I have learned one important thing: PEOPLE WILL BE PEOPLE. They will hurt, they will claw, they will do the vilest things imaginable. But they will also love, they will laugh, and they will endure. I have learned to accept people in my life for everything they are, flaws and follies notwithstanding. I learned that we cannot change who we are, we can only try. And the attempt is much nobler than the goal, because it allows us to see a better version of ourselves, even just for a moment, and aspire to become that version despite recognizing the mission's inevitable failure. We are who we are. I am who I know myself to be. And believe me when I say, only YOU know the real you. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Before I ramble on, let me wish you all the best of luck in restarting this futile mission of ours - becoming better people against all odds. And when we fail again, like we are wont to do, be comforted by the knowledge that there is always the next year to realign the engine, overhaul the system, and initiate the sequence. The practice is restorative as it is hopeful. And hope is the drug of choice of the human race.

May we all have a hope-fueled New Year!

Christmas Greeting

2008-12-25T06:28:00.000+08:00

Hope you all had a great Christmas! Cheers from my family to yours!
Here's hoping the next year will be just as merry. :)

Au Revoir, Ivan.

2008-12-01T19:36:00.001+08:00

Today I learned that a friend has passed away.

Although I cannot claim to be his best friend - I knew him only briefly and spent less than significant time with him - I found myself shaken to the core at the news of his passing.

I feel deeply for those whose lives are intricately woven into his, those whose days and nights form the texture and pattern of his: those who are now irreparably damaged from this broken, tangled weave. He is gone. The crisscrossing lines are now severed, never to be healed.

Ivan, may you soon find yourself in the disco of your dreams. May you find colors and hues as bright as your soul. May the final music you hear become the song you will forever sing. May you be engulfed in the drumbeats. Let the dancing begin.

And to whoever did this to you: I shall not be kind. May you live in torment forever. May you live in agony everyday for the rest of your wretched life.

POSTSCRIPT:
Ivan's remain lie in state at his family's home in Bulacan. For those who want to pay their respects, please SMS me for the address. Or you may also contact Lotho, from whom many of us learned of Ivan's passing.

WISHCRAFT NOW HIRING

2008-10-26T06:43:00.002+08:00

FOR THE INDEFATIGABLE, EASILY INSPIRED, AND INNATELY CREATIVE...THIS JOB MIGHT BE FOR YOU!

Wishcraft Creative Affairs Team, Inc. is in need of a writer who has natural creative tendencies that sometimes border on the insane. He/She must have a knack for all that is events/marketing related, is strategic and innovative, and has the patience of a beatified saint.

Other requirements include:
> Bachelor's degree in a reputable school
> A background in events/marketing/pr
> Above average communication skills, specifically written communication
> Knowledge of basic MS Office functions, both for Mac and Windows

ONLY ONE VACANCY FOR THIS POST. THIS IS AN URGENT REQUIREMENT.

For those interested, please send your resume to the HR Department through: Mr. Ryan Paguntalan Mail to: ryan.paguntalan@wishcraft.com.ph
WISHCRAFT...Your Wish, Our Craft.

Chad's Birthday Bonanza

2008-10-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

Had the best time at Chad's birthday BLOWOUT. And by blowout, I mean a real blowout complete with so maaaany prizes and giveaways! We stayed at a beautiful private resort in Laguna (two houses with a total of four pools) and there was just so much to do! Plus, the food was delish!

I really enjoy spending time with the Tiu clan because they sure know how to throw a great party. It was extra special to have brought my family with me this time. It was a very enjoyable weekend, one that we're not likely to forget for many months to come.

Pictures are waaaay too many, so if you want to view them, just click
HERE.

Enjoy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAD! THANKS FOR HAVING US. WE HAD A BLAST!

Thank you to the Tiu clan. You guys are the best! :)

Who wants to remember college? I don't!

2008-10-07T13:47:00.000+08:00

This will all make sense in a minute.

You see, it all began with a surreal, warpy dream of me walking into a bus-full of my...

...COLLEGE FLINGS!

Don't get me wrong...my college experience was nothing short of a nightly booze fest and I had the best times with the best people. Heck, I would even go as far as saying that I had a blast. Well, apart from the numerous hangover mornings, missed classes and periods (yeah, don't deny it...), drained energy and allowance, we all had our own version of college fun. I mean, we've all been afflicted with this age-old malaise with symptoms varying from loss of judgment, blurred vision, heightened brazenness, and diminished common sense more popularly known as adulthood. But that didn't stop us from doing the same mind-numbing things over and over again because...well...because it was FUN!

But I digress...

So here they are, my part-time lovers, looking as nubile as the day they grew their first body hair and I couldn't, for the life of me, feel even the slightest bit excited. In fact, I felt quite out of place, standing there in my office attire (not that it's marmy or anything) among a throng of scantily-clad men (boys). Geez...what I wouldn't give to feel giddy right at that very second. But in my dream I was actually SHY, embarrassed, even. Gawd!

It was a deer-in-the-headlights experience. I was totally shocked out of my wits. I think, even in my semi-conscious state, I was able to will myself awake if only to get out of that situation, whether real or surreal. It just didn't feel right anymore.

So what is the point? There is none. I just feel so bewilderingly GROWN UP. Watda eff!

FYI: I usually have a relatively dreamless, uneventful sleep. So this is quite new (and rightly so!) to me. My past is haunting me, and in a very steamy, sexy but strange kinda way. Eeep!

FOR SALE: Limited Louis Vuitton Porte Rayures Monogram Tisse

2008-09-24T13:26:00.003+08:00

MY FRIEND IS SELLING THIS ABSOLUTELY HOT, TO-DIE-FOR, BRAND NEW, GUARANTEED AUTHENTIC LV PORTE RAYURES. BOUGHT IN THE STATES JUST THIS MONTH!

From a bag review:

"We have something on the spring/summer ‘08 Louis Vuitton new releases, and it’s about the bags which are set to be the first to hit the LV stores. I’m talking about the limited edition Rayures Line. Rumor has it that they are limited edition so you better keep them in mind since they will be among the most wanted bags in the upcoming season, and with a high demand and a limited number of bags available, if you want one you better get it as soon as you can. The Line features tote bags in two sizes and a clutch bag in a new, water repelent Monogram Canvas."

THIS BAG CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY P125K!!!

(Ako, can't afford kaya hanggang tingin na lang...sigh)

IF YOU ARE SERIOUSLY INTERESTED, PLEASE CONTACT:

Ms. Imma Ongteco

0917-8114662

(Pls. mention that you got her number through me.)

Here are some photos to whet your appetite. These are actual photos of the bag.

Enjoy!

I Vote for Lagal [OG]!

2008-09-10T20:07:00.004+08:00

Oggie's blog is nominated for the 2008 Philippine Blog Awards and I could not be happier!

His is one of the few blogs that I actually follow as often as I possibly can. His photos are not only stunning but inspired, and are just as appealing visually as they are spiritually stirring. I had the privilege to pose for him once, and though it was just for a practice studio session, I felt truly honored to have been the subject of his photographs. I have since kept an online friendship with him and have continuously (almost obsessively) perused his photos as often as time would allow.

There are moments in life when you cannot help but feel encumbered by all the responsibilities and overwhelming daily exigencies and you just want to stop and literally take a deep, calming breath to regain your composure. Oggie's photographs offer me exactly that: a kind of calm that is almost like a gentle breeze on a hot, humid day. Absolutely refreshing.

Here is one of Oggie's photographs that I have grabbed (with permission, if I remember correctly) to use as my "happy place" where I quietly retreat to when the cacophony of useless anxieties just become too much to bear.

Good luck, Oggie. A blanket of coldness covers the sky, but in your photographs there is always the welcome warmth. We must all snuggle in it, if only to keep our sanity.

If you have been touched by Oggie either through his words or his pictures, then you must join me in voting for him now. This is a much deserved accolade to add to his growing collection. Kudos, my friend!

Level Up! Games

Nokia

Blog Bank

Smart Communications

Josiah’s Catering

Rsun Technology Store

Yahoo

XFM 92.3

Buddy Gancencia Reality TV

Ultravision Photo and Video

Click Booth

Aloha Board Sports

Sheero Media Solutions

YourPinoyBroker.com

Belo Medical Group

Inquirer.Net

Toshiba

ROAM Magazine

PLDT

I'm Back!!!

2008-09-04T16:46:00.001+08:00

Guys!!! I missed you all a lot!

Was gone for a few days to spend my wedding anniversary with mi familia in Macau. I just got back and there's quite a buzz on my page! So I felt compelled to post something even before unpacking. Hahaha!

Will be posting the photos soon. Medyo naging trigger happy ako dun sa Macau at halos 1000++ ang mga pictures! Graveeeh!!! Baka hindi kayanin ng Multiply! Choz!

Anyhoo, see you all soon! Mwah! :)

Unexpected (and totally pleasant) Surprise

2008-08-29T04:46:00.000+08:00

I woke up to a very surprising but equally wonderful SMS from Elmer this morning. He put me and Acid on his VIP guest list for the Eraserheads Reunion Concert! Can you believe that? I mean, realizing how thousands of people would kill to get into this concert and the tickets being so scarce (is it?) and all...this "gift" is quite the sheeez! Hahaha! Thanks, sist! You are truly the best!

And now for the survey part of this missive: Should I or shouldn't I go?

A little background for the road: It's actually my sister, Chunak, who is the bigger E-Heads fan than I am. In college, she would patiently line up for their campus concerts amidst all the jostling and pushing and banshee screams. I don't think she ever missed one E-Heads concert in UST. While I, on the other hand, was a little on the so-so side of the equation. Pwedeng hindi, pwedeng sige.

BUT THIS IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME KIND OF THING! I know...

Ang tanong: Kaya ko bang pumila at makipagsiksikan? Or may siksikan ba sa VIP entrance? Hmmm...

Help me out people!!! Should I stay or should I go? Choz!

And again...THANK YOU ELMER! Mabuhay ang Parlor Rangers!

Tagged by Mia: TEN THINGS

2008-08-19T15:01:00.001+08:00

RULES:

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself.

At the end, choose 5 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it) and to go read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you.

Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers...

Ten Weird/Interesting Things About Me: (Choz!)

1. I have two pairs of "bukong-bukong" or Tibia (tama ba?) on both feet. Yes, I'm mutant that way.

2. My left ear lobe is curled on the upper part. I know, I know. Bagay ako sa circus.

3. I used to be in the basketball and track team back in high school. Athletic po ako. Hindi lang halata.

4. I once had an out of body experience. I literally saw my corporeal body lying down on the bed while my "spirit" hovered. It took a lot of mental effort to will my spirit back to my body. And no, I wasn't on anything at that time. Just completely exhausted.

5. After eight years of directing, subjecting my left ear to the only health hazard of my profession known as the communication set (head set to many), I am now slightly hearing-impaired on that side. But don't scream at me just yet, just talk to my right ear. Buti na lang yun din ang good angle ko. Hahaha!

6. I am named after a Russian saint, according to my Lola Tet, who consulted the Catholic calendar in UST Hospital after my parents found out, much to their surprise, that I cannot be called Michael, the name which they prepared for their "son."

7. I possess the freakish skill of being able to hang my calf over my shoulder. It's usually the right calf, but I've recently discovered that I can do it with the left one, too.

8. I clean my ears everyday. Obsessively so. It is the very first thing I do when I wake up in the morning.

9. I cut my nails as close as possible to the skin. If it's not painful, I don't feel it is short enough. I stop short of bleeding, at least some days. And I do not cut my nails on a Thursday. It's one of the few superstitions I actually believe. Kapeh!

10. Lastly, I have forced myself to become ambidextrous. I say "forced" because I literally pushed myself to learn how to write with my left hand. Strange as it may seem, I've always had this nagging feeling that the need might arise any time and I should be prepared when it does. Doomsday baga?

So, from the abovementioned, you might have already gleaned that I have a tendency for pessimism, slightly obsessive compulsive, and a freakshow overall. Goodluck being my friend.

Hahaha! Love you all!

I am a terrible wife!

2008-07-29T07:54:00.001+08:00

...ACCORDING TO THIS PERSONALITY TEST, that is. Hehehehe...

You Would Make a Horrible 1930's Wife

You are way too non conformist, independent, and sassy to be an ideal retro wife.
You may be so wild that you aren't even considering marriage!
Good thing we don't live in the 1930s anymore!

Would You Have Been a Good Wife in the 1930s?

Tagged by Jard. Now tagging Cheche, Melody, Carmelle, Jonas, Nida, Irene, Iska, and Mic.

2008-07-13T09:11:00.002+08:00

THE RULES: People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to at least 8 other people.

1. What would make your day worse?

--- Attack of gastritis or constipation. Hahaha! Pang-matanda ang sagot!

2. At what age do/did you wish to settle down?

--- Noon talaga, wala akong balak mag-asawa. But I ended up getting married at age 25. O diba? Sabi nga ni Ate Vi, "YOU CAN NEVER CAN TELL!" Bungga!

3. What's your favorite genre in music?

--- I am an eternal Patti Austin fan. I always say that when asked about music. Siya talaga ang humubog ng aking pagkatao. Choz! Jazz talaga ang favorite ko. In any form. Lalo na easy listening kasi gusto ko steady lang ang groove. Yeeaaaahhh... Choz!

4. What time did you sleep last night?

--- Mga alas-tres na ng umaga kasi nag-inuman kami nina Lyra, Jeng, and Boni. 2:30am na nakauwi.

5. What are you doing right now?

--- Trying to convince Pablo that we can't leave the house since it's raining. Nakakatamad kaya maligo! Ang ginaw no!

6. Is there someone you're thinking right now? Who?

--- Iniisip ko si Chunak. Kasi wala siyang pasalubong sa akin from HK. Gusto ko lang naman siya patayin. I'm plotting revenge as I type.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?

--- I talk. A lot. Kilometric rant. Feeling ko my talakathon will drown out the sadness. Parang ganun. Ask my friends. Pag di ko bet mag sulk pero malungkot ako, mango-okray na lang ako ng ibang tao. Talak to death.

8. If you were given a chance to choose a date for answering YES to your love one what month is that?

--- Ay! Di applicable. Next question please...

9. What makes your day complete?

--- Bowel movement. Seriously. My day has to begin with that. It's symbolic of purging yourself of the previous day's experience. Para fresh beginning. Choz!
10. List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

--- Jard: GIVING, INTUITIVE, and OPEN.

11. How do you cope with boredom?

--- Watch cartoons with my son and shower him with kisses. :)

12. Is there someone you love who have hurt you in any way? Who?

--- Nako!!! Napakarami na nila. Punyeta sila! Hahaha! Chika lang... Ganun naman talaga pag mahal mo, whether they intend to or not, they will hurt you in some form or other. It's inevitable. (boo hoo...)

13. What is your dream?

--- Early retirement. I do not want to grow old working. I have to be able to stop when I still have the stamina to live my life and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

14. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?

--- Absolute happiness. Wish lang naman diba? I know it may never come true. Pero libre mangarap. Haaay...

15. Describe summer 08 in less than 10 words

--- PURO SWIMMING! PURO KAIN! TANGNA, MAINIT!

16. Do you believe that dreams do come true?, Why?

--- I am a pessimist. It makes me feel rather closely connected to the cosmos. Don't make me explain why. Basta.

17. What will you do if your love one ask you to go out??

--- Ay, N/A na naman. Choz! Ako kasi lagi nag ask out sa mga boys eh. Tarush!

18. What do you look forward in 2008?

--- Makapag-turo na next sem para ako naman gaganti sa mga estudyamos. Choz!

19. What song is playing in your head right now?

--- Push it to the Limit, yung kanta ni Corbin sa Disney Channel. Si Pablo kasi eh, ayaw palitan channel!

20. Who is your favorite singer?

--- Sige, ulitin na lang natin...PATTI AUSTIN PO, proud to be ka-nguso!

21. Is there anything about you that you would like to share?

--- Share ko na lang infinite kagandahan ko, para naman maging fair ang mundo. CHARING!!!

It's Over. I Can Breathe Now.

2008-07-12T08:05:00.001+08:00

I've been holding my breath for the past 48 hours.

The interminable wait - one year, to be exact - ended just yesterday, at exactly 11:35 a.m.

I am officially done with my MA Degree. There...exhale...

And now I can finally scream the scream I've been holding back for so long. It's over! It's done! The end of my journey has now come. This has been the most important moment of my life since giving birth to my son. It hasn't really sunk in yet, but I feel it coming in slow waves.

Thank goodness for the people who have been with me throughout this entire ordeal. You all know who you are. But if you want details, I will probably just post the acknowledgment in my manuscript. Soon. For now, I just want to exhale and expunge myself of this harrowing but equally rewarding experience.

And, to those who are curious, I received the Benemeritus honor. One point shy of Meritissimus. But who's counting, right? I am just thankful to have had all this great karma even while nearly killing myself in the process.

THANK YOU ALL! I can breathe normally again. I haven't done so in a very long time. The time to celebrate is now. Allow me to share this joy with all of you.

(Photo 1: From left - Sir Mike Corroza, Ma'am Becky Anonuevo, Ricci Guevarra - PANELISTS)

(Photo 2: Me and my adviser Dr. Ophelia Alcantara-Dimalanta, PhD.)

Dahil Binasa ang Blog ni Nida...Naging DT ako.

2008-07-08T12:54:00.001+08:00

Hehehe...Pahiram ng title, Nida ha!

I was reading Nida's latest blog (about this personality test) and I decided to take it as well. Curious lang. La naman masama. And this is what came out. Click click!

Try it out for yourself. I don't agree with some of the things said there about my supposed personality type, but some are congruent naman to what I believe is the real me. Keep an open mind. Take it with a grain of salt and a little balsamic vinegar. Hehehe...

(Hirap pumetiks!)

Loyva for Project Headshot: One World Series

2008-07-08T04:59:00.001+08:00

Now I can finally upload my super fabulous (read: meaningful, sabi nga ni Niccolo) headshot. Thank you again, Niccolo, for inviting me. It was well worth the anticipation. I never knew I could look this good! Hahaha! I love, love, love it! Till next year! :)

PRE-OWNED MAC ACCESSORIES FOR SALE!

2008-05-07T09:47:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. I'm selling my Macbook Pro 15" accessories because I just decided to use it bare. Wala lang. Trip ko lang. Anyhow, here are the items:

SPECK CLEAR CASE - with some scratches, as to be expected but no other major damages. It is nearly 4 months old. Bought it for P2,600. Now selling for only P1,600. See photo to appreciate.

SONNET Silicon Keyboard Cover - to protect your keyboard from stains and other dirt. It's just dirty in the picture, but as you all know, it's washable (with mild detergent and water) and can be hung dry. Bought it for P1,200. Now selling for only P800.

Contact me through email (loyva88@yahoo.com) if you are interested and I'll give you guys a call. :) No more haggling please, super bagsak-presyo na yan. :) I will even give the items to you in their original box (pag nahanap ko). Buy now! Hehehehe...

Old Photos Coming Right Up...

2008-04-10T14:16:00.000+08:00

Since my PRO account in Flickr has expired, I decided to just transfer all my old photographs to Multiply. So in the next few days (or hours, depending on my patience level), my friends and direct contacts will be barraged by posts that are about two to three years old. Bear with me. And maybe even reminisce the not-so-old-days. :)

Need Info re Summer Workshops for Kids

2008-03-24T10:33:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!

I am planning to enroll Pablo in some summer classes this year and was wondering if you have any information regarding Karate/Taekwondo, Swimming, Music, or Art workshops in the Quezon City area (we are in the New Manila district). Would really appreciate any info you might have (telephone numbers, websites, etc.) so we can start scouting and making the necessary arrangements. I want to make this vacation meaningful for him since he's always just stuck at home with nothing to do. :)

Thanks in advance!

Copyright Violation

2008-03-22T13:48:00.000+08:00

I'm sure you're not seeing this for the first time since Multiply has gone on a copyright checking rampage with regards to music being posted onto the site. One of my playlists - Jimmy James' "Fashionista" - has been deleted by the site administrator for copyright infringement, and though I do not commend their way of just deleting it without first notifying the site owner (meaning me), I agree with them that certain rules must be imposed on digital media content. So, even if I have a lot of people thanking me for the playlists I once posted, it is with deep regret that I have deleted all of them save for the one song that I can rightfully claim ownership to, that is: the digital music by my husband, Acid.

So to all my iPod Top Rated fans (I had a handful...hehehe...) sorry but I had to delete the entire playlist altogether. Thank you for all the nice comments you left on the page when it still existed.

Au revoir, my playlists. See you instead in my iPod. :)

Earth Hour. Join the global movement!

2008-03-09T09:05:00.000+08:00

Mark your calendars!

ON MARCH 29, 2008 AT EXACTLY 8PM, THE WORLD IS ENJOINED TO TURN ALL LIGHTS OFF IN CELEBRATION OF THE EARTH HOUR.

Read more...
(From www.earthhour.org and WWF)

"On 29 March 2008 the Philippines will join countries around the world
as we literally "turn the lights out" for Earth Hour - an event that
will fuel awareness on climate change and prove that when the people
of the world work together, they can make a difference in the fight
against global warming.

Earth Hour will take place throughout the Philippines from 8 to 9 in
the evening on Saturday night, 29 March 2008. WWF invites you to
participate by shutting off lights for 60 minutes, organizing your own
"lights-out" event or by forwarding this mail to your friends,
workmates and family.

Launched in Australia on the 31st of March 2007, Earth Hour moved 2.2
million people and 2100 businesses in Sydney to turn off their lights
for one hour. This massive collective effort reduced the city's energy
consumption by 10.2% for one hour. With Sydney icons like the Harbour
Bridge and Opera House turning their lights off and unique events such
as weddings by candlelight, the world took notice. Inspired by the
collective effort of millions of Sydneysiders, many major global
cities are joining Earth Hour in 2008, turning a symbolic event into a
global movement.

YOUR participation will go a long way in spreading the message that
we, as individual droplets working collectively - can create an
impetus far more powerful than the mightiest of rivers. For more
information, log on to the WWF Earth Hour page at: www.earthhour.org.

If you want to learn more about how else you can help make Earth Hour
in the Philippines a success, email (see below) or drop us a line at
(632) 920-7931, (632) 920-7923, or (632)920-7926"

Teena G. Santiago
Marketing Services Manager
WWF-Philippines/
Kabang Kalikasan ng Pilipinas
JBD Plaza, 56 Mindanao Avenue
Bagong Pag-Asa, Quezon City
Philippines
Phone: + 63 2 920-7923 or 26
Fax: +63 2 454-3533
Mobile: +63 920 923-6998
email: tsantiago@...
Website: http://wwf.org.ph

I've got the blues...

2008-02-25T19:46:00.000+08:00

There was a time when I could write anywhere, any hour of the day, and in any situation or circumstance. My writer friends and I were all prolific, even resorting to having a log book where we can just about spit out whatever thoughts come to mind. Instant poetry - some brilliant, others worth wiping on our ass - emerged as a result of that. It did seem back then that there was no stopping us. It was just so darn EASY.

But now, just when my life depends on it and just when I need it more than anything else I've needed in my life (seriously!) I just can't come up with one single line of verse! I am writing my 30-piece poetry collection for my MA thesis and I've only so far managed to complete four. These are the only four works that I feel confident enough to show my adviser. The rest are hastily scribbled notes on scraps of paper. What is happening to me???

For a while I kept postponing blogging about this because it might make the whole dilemma more real, more palpable. So I just let it simmer and brew inside me until it finally came to a point where I just needed to scream at somebody. Insane!!!

Now the cat's out of the bag. I haven't got the strength to keep up appearances. I am bone tired just trying to think of what to write. I am officially versed-out. And I keep hearing little voices in my head pounding literary theories and poetics into my already swollen, throbbing brain. I need a HUGE dose of inspiration, stat!

I am in deeper trouble than I let on. Really.

Sheesh...

iDrool

2008-01-16T07:34:00.000+08:00

And who wouldn't? I opened my mac mail this morning and this is what shocked the pants off me. Read on...

"Apple today introduced the world’s thinnest notebook: MacBook Air. It measures an unprecedented 0.16 inches at its thinnest point while its maximum height of 0.76 inches is less than the thinnest point on competing notebooks. In addition to a stunning 13.3-inch LED-backlit widescreen display, MacBook Air offers a full-size and backlit keyboard, a built-in iSight video camera for video conferencing, and a spacious trackpad with multi-touch gesture support, letting users pinch, rotate and swipe. The new notebook is powered by a 1.6 GHz or 1.8 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor with 4MB L2 cache, and it includes as standard features 2GB of memory, an 80GB 1.8-inch hard drive, and the latest 802.11n Wi-Fi technology and Bluetooth 2.1. Starting at just $1,799, MacBook Air begins shipping in two weeks."

Un-effing believable.
Visit this link to see more....
http://www.apple.com/macbookair/

I swear to all the known gods...I am out of my wits...I have to have this or else...

Here's a photo to make you guys drool, too...

A new year, indeed...

2008-01-16T00:59:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes, yes...it has been way too long. But I have been uninspired for the last few months. It has not been completely uneventful, no. But that's just it! There is too much going on: too many names, a blur of faces, hands and palms exchanging, holes in walls, bottle caps and jars...

Unbelievable this drought of words when there is an outpour of objects and people and colors. Yes, the colors! They are overwhelming. They drown!

The words bear no resemblance to the things they represent when the colors take over and bleed into each other. That is my dilemma. That is my nemesis. And, heaven forbid, my honest death.

What a new year this is turning out to be. I hope the disappointments don't drown in colors, because then I won't even feel them come.

Oh, Insiang!

2007-10-06T16:23:00.000+08:00

Where does one begin describing this play?

The grim pathos was at once palpable as the scene is revealed to the viewer. The murky inner sanctum of what we commonly refer to as "squatter's area" welcomed the audience into its filthy depths. It felt, quite unmistakeably, like an invitation - this open, gaping space that beckons "come hither and watch." And watch we did.

For all its obvious wretchedness, this small neighborhood of misfits feels strangely familiar, almost comfortingly so. Never mind if you've ever set foot in one or have even vaguely heard of such a place: the moment you see it, you know it and you embrace it like a long-ago memory you've lost somewhere between growing up and keeping up with the world. I personally felt (and did seem to be) re-oriented to what is real.

I will not waste your time or mine trying to articulate exactly what I experienced during the nearly two-hour viewing. I will not even attempt to describe the plot, the twists, and the saucy trysts. But I must warn you, at the very least, that this is not for the straight-laced, righteous, and saccharine soul or you shall be in for the shock of your adult life. Not that it offers something you've never seen before, no. But it does put things in a much starker, nay, bolder perspective: one you may not have been privy to or willing to accept in the past.

A post-modern, self-reflexive, self-critiquing play that completely eradicates the sacred border between audience and performers, Insiang is something you will regret missing. And this is coming from someone who's probably missed half the ride all this time.

Watch it. You may not like it, but you will certainly be proud of it. It is at once intelligent and insane, witty and sappy, ludicrous and true. If that doesn't convince you, then I don't know what will.

I rest my case.

INSIANG will be staged at the Tanghalang Huseng Batute until the 14th of October. For more details on schedule and ticket rates, please contact Tanghalang Pilipino at 8321125 loc. 1620 or 1621

INSIANG is directed by Chris Millado and written for the theater by Mario O'Hara.

(In the photo with me is actor Paolo Rodriguez who plays the role of Atoy, my favorite of the lot.)

MANY THANKS TO GERARD WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR ME. HE'S DAMN RIGHT.

Wiser not older...

2007-10-03T12:12:00.000+08:00

I must admit, I went through a period of anxiety as the day of my 30th birthday drew near. My elder sister, believing she knows all about growing old, told me that I was worried over nothing. The transition to this grand age (as I call it) isn't ALL that to her, apparently. Well...I'm the middle child, so I know that when something's bothering me, it isn't just drama. It IS something worth mulling over.

Let's just say I feel I haven't done enough or achieved enough at this stage that I feel almost unworthy of my age. Some people younger than me are already at the apex of either their career or personal life. While I see myself as merely getting there (actually, just trudging along) at a snail's pace. So, I got a little overwhelmed. The number may be little compared to septuagenarians, but for the life of me, I suddenly feel so old!

And then, quite clearly, something was revealed to me a few hours before the inevitable day dawned. My husband's grand aunt, the dame of the Herrera clan in Novaliches, died at the age of 97 from complications of pneumonia. Ninety-seven. I said the words out loud to feel them roll in my tongue and was quite shocked at how much GRANDER it felt just being said to the air, to no one or nothing in particular. What is my lame three decades compared to (say it with me now...) NINETY SEVEN???

Lo and behold! I am young! My soul is a tiny speck of lint in the universe of experience. Three decades! Three measly decades that DO NOT compare to Aunt Fausta's nine and something more. I am not old, dearies. I am only a better, more refined soul honed by three decades of existence. There is so much more ahead. The journey isn't even halfway through! What a revelation.

I hate to say this but my sister is right. There isn't good reason to worry, really, if you look at the bigger picture. But like I've always said - in my blog and elsewhere - I am the sort of individual who zeroes in on the minute aspects of things so that I won't feel so dwarfed by The World. But heck, as Melanie Marquez herself pointed out, "for once and for all" age is just a friggin' number.

Whoa.

The blogger spelling test

2007-09-14T18:26:00.000+08:00

I Scored a 100%!

Mingle² - Free Dating Site

Presenting, His Royal Hotness...

2007-08-09T14:39:00.000+08:00

I am not one to be starstruck. Even when I feel I should be, I never am. That's why I kind of surprised myself last night at the Awit. When I saw Billy (Joe-dropped) Crawford walk into the VIP entrance past the tech booth (where I sat waiting with the rest of the bossings), I literally jumped out just to stop him in his tracks. (Some people were downright embarassed by what I did next, but most of them were simply shocked!)

I blurted: "BILLY, BILLY!"
He turned to look and said, "YES?"
Without skipping a beat, I replied: "CAN I GET A HUG?"
And without blinking, he opened his arms and said: "SURE!"

So, yes, I got a hug outta him. It was a swell experience. But that wasn't the last of our encounter.

Fast forward to about two hours later, JM Rodriguez drags me backstage (because he knows Billy from waaaay back, what luck) to introduce me to Billy. Keep in mind that I hadn't told JM what I've done to the poor bewildered guy earlier, so I willingly let myself be dragged (ok, so I wasn't being dragged - I was actually walking ahead of JM) to the dim-lit backstage. We found Billy on the wings of the stage, waiting for his cue to enter. So we had to wait until his turn was up. I fidgeted and made a few bland jokes to the production staff while constantly glancing at Billy's beautiful profile (aaargggghhh!!!).

Then, he came down to meet us and without wasting a second, JM proceeds with the introductions:

JM: "Hey, Billy! This is Loyva."
I reach out a hand, Billy shakes it.
Billy gives a knowing grin and says: "Oh, it's you again!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(That's nervous laughter for you!)

JM gives me a strange look then offers to take our photograph. Of course, Billy relents. He probably knew by that time that I wasn't going to be denied my joy.

And that was that. Well, not really. I followed him to the exit when he was leaving and asked inane questions like: "do you have a driver?" (he said he did) "do you need security?" (he said he was good, thank you) "do you need an umbrella?" (to which he replied with a very polite no).

I felt like a goddamned stalker.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

(More nervous laughter)

For the life of me, I don't know exactly what prompted me to do such things. I don't like celebrities much, believe me. Ask anyone I work with and they'd tell you the same. But Billy, with his really hot smile, managed to turn me to mush. Icky, sticky, mush.

Look at the photo. You can detect a subtle discomfort in his face. Or it may just be my imagination.

NATAKOT YATA SIYA SA AKIN! Gawd!

Haaay...Billy, Billy, Billy...you hot stud you.

(Since last night, I've started humming this old piano piece I used to play when I was taking lessons as a kid. I think it was from that red Solfeggio book. It goes like this: "Billy boy, Billy boy, oh where have you been, charming Billy?")

Something is terribly wrong with me. What say you?

It's Tomorrow!

2007-08-07T12:39:00.000+08:00

I'm so excited...tomorrow's the big night. The Awit Awards happens tomorrow night at the NBC Tent. Those who haven't decided on going yet, well you have the rest of the evening and most of the day tomorrow to make up your mind. A few friends have already confirmed their attendance. So you best make a decision, stat! Tickets are running out!

Text me, message me thru YM or send me an email ASAP!

See you all tomorrow, beautiful people!

Mwah, mwah, mwah!

Text me for TICKETS

2007-08-06T12:18:00.000+08:00

If you are going to the Awit Awards, I have about 10 spare tickets in my possession. Text me if you're keen on attending. I can just meet you at the door on the night itself. Or you can always meet me in UST (Thursdays and Fridays) at the Graduate School building.

I hope everyone I invited makes it to the affair. If there are more tickets available before the 8th, I'll let you all know.

See you at the Awit Awards!

THE 20TH ANNUAL AWIT AWARDS

2007-08-02T07:14:00.000+08:00

Be part of music history. Come to the 20th Annual Awit Awards and prepare yourself for a musical feast like no other. Wear your 80's best! Let's roll!

To all the fans...

2007-07-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

To all those who watched today's episode of Mom's...to those who texted, called, and messaged me online...MARAMING, MARAMING SALAMAT! I'm so glad you guys took time out from your very busy schedules just to see me on TV! Thanks for the support, for the constant barrage of heartwarming comments, THANK YOU!

And for those who are requesting for a copy of the show, I'll try my best to get one and as Charles "Didi" Simbillo suggested, I'll try to schedule a viewing in my house for those who missed it and for those who just want to watch it again.

I didn't know I was this SIKAT! hahahaha!!! Etchos!

To my officemates who literally STOPPED OPERATIONS (thanks, Isah) just to watch the show in our very cramped pantry, you guys are the best! See you all when I get back from my study leave.

I love me today! Yahoo!!!!

(In the photo are - from left -Me, Love Anover and Nicole-Hyala)

How much of the Philippines have you seen?

2007-07-09T18:44:00.000+08:00

According to this site (the link to which I found on Oggie's blog), there's so much of the country I have yet to visit. Kinda sad, don't you think? Try it out for yourselves. =)

My Lakbayan grade is C!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

I do, I do, I do!

2007-07-01T09:06:00.000+08:00

Another one bites the...wedding cake.

One of my best friends just got hitched. She's the second one in our group to tie the forever knot (me, being the first). And I just can't tell you how emotional the wedding day was. It's as if someone had veiled the day with joy, love, and the unforgiving, sweltering sun. From the moment I got to the bridal suite (that was 6:45 a.m., my dearies), there was no denying the fact that this was one day we friends of the bride would most likely talk about for months to come.

Truth be told, I was probably more nervous than the bride herself. Maybe it's because I knew what the day held for her, the kind of feelings that were soon to assault her: the maddening mix of nostalgia and affection; of joy and hesitation; of nerve-wracking tension and excitement. It was just the kind of thing that could stress anyone out. But being the goddess that she was, Anna was the picture of calm all the way down the aisle to the arms of her bawling husband-to-be, and plunging head first into the heady brew that is FOREVER.

Haaaay.....

I am such a sappy old-timer. And I always, always cry at weddings. And graduations.

I can't wait for Renee and Beth to get married, too. I wonder what it'll be like.

Here's a photo of the four of us. The goddesses of the day. My best friends.

Toothy

2007-06-26T14:32:00.000+08:00

I just got back from the dentist's today. Sad, sad news for my three rotten molars. A week from today, I mark my calendar with a bloody, pulpy red for E-Day (as in Extraction Day). After nearly three years of enduring the pain and discomfort, I have decided to say adieu to Molars 1, 2, and 3 respectively. Oh, the tragedy!

Au revoir, mes dents !

(Denture days are here. I am waxing nostalgic now.)

Artista na ko!!!

2007-06-22T17:34:00.000+08:00

I know...it sounds so vaaaaiiiinn!!! I'm just really in a very good mood today because I guested for the QTV show, Moms, for one of their July episodes. (Dunno if I'm allowed to say what it is yet, so I'd rather keep mum about it). IT WAS FUN! There were two others with me - Love Anover and Nicole-Hiyala. It was a very educational experience, and very cool, to say the least.

As soon as I get copies of the taping photos, I'll post them here. Meanwhile, let's all just bask in the glow of my celebrity persona. Hahahaha!!!

Many thanks to Paul Noriega for considering me for this shindig. I'm loving it right now!

Thinspiration

2007-06-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

I did say I am going to post a pre-fat photo of me, so I scoured the bottomless pit that is my 300-something gigabytes worth of storage space and managed to find this one shot that I think perfectly represents my thin self back in the days.

Those who know me from way back would remember when this photo was taken (it was my wedding day, after all) and could attest to how super slim I was back then. Seriously! My waistline in this photo is only 22 inches! Waaaahhh!!!

So there...let me know if you like me better now (with all these cute, squishy, jiggly flabs hanging from all odd ends of my body) or then (with my nonexistent waist and mango jaw).

Ciao!

First Day Funk

2007-06-15T11:47:00.000+08:00

I'm a student again.

After taking a hiatus from the stuffy academe, I find myself suddenly back in a classroom full of strangers - the old, the gangly, the gay, the bubbly. It was a weird, almost warpy kind of feeling - like being thrown into a cauldron of mishmash. It wasn't so much uncomfortable as it was odd - like an out-of-body experience; I was there but felt away from myself, nearly omniscient as it were, and looking at everything all at once.

The upside to this was being out of the office earlier than usual. I don't mind being at work, but after almost four years in the same job (love it, by the way, so don't get it twisted), you gotta get out some time - change the scene, escape, experience life elsewhere. Being in school affords me that opportunity, so I'm all hippity-hoppity fine and dandy. Just take out that first-time-back-in-the-classroom feel.

My first class yesterday was St. Thomas and Critical Thinking - a pre-requisite NO ONE can escape. I was dizzy after sitting through nearly three hours of CATEGORICAL PROPOSITIONS. And we were only just skimming through the simple ones. I dread next week's discussion! I could throw a fit, bleed to death, and DIE! The most illogical of thoughts keep popping in my head just as we begin to discuss logical thinking. Un-effing-believable!

But there is no way - and I mean this in the strictest sense - that I can ever get out of this one. If I even hope to graduate this school year, I have to sit through a semester of this nose-bleeder. Gotta love St. Thomas for all his rationality. I just wish he didn't have to make it so damn hard.

Today, I'm off for school again. This time around, I have a class with the Graduate School Dean himself. Aaah...the joys of being a slacker. I've slacked for a year and when I returned, they made THESIS WRITING 1 a SUBJECT! An actual class you have to sit through and attend every week!!! I don't even have words to say to that. Nada. For all my feigned eloquence, I can't grasp a single word to describe how totally whack this whole thing is. I am dumbfounded.

First day funk's a dud. It should have been first day flunk.

I am such a misfit.

Flab Fab

2007-06-07T07:45:00.000+08:00

I can barely fit into my clothes now.

It would have been a real tragedy save for the fact that I've been waif-thin all my life and I'm now only beginning to enjoy what little meat may be hanging off my bones. It's even quite fascinating, really, to watch my then nonexistent tummy become this sagging jiggle of flesh. Ok, so you're all probably cringing and saying a collective "eew" right now, but let me put you into perspective.

In grade school and high school I would buy clothes from the kiddie section because all those pre-teen outfits were just too darn big! In college I would always look for triple extra small or double extra small tops (or a size zero, my dearies) so that I wouldn't swin inside the garment. Now that I'm closing in on the big three-oh, I'm suddenly a size 8 (EU petite), 6 (US), or M (elsewhere). Can you effing believe it? I surely can't!

So this whole getting big thing is quite a novelty to me. I'm not giggly happy about it of course, I mean I'm not THAT TWISTED! But, I'm trying to be more open minded (read: open-waisted, empire cut) about the situation. Some have it worse than I do. At least now I can experience having more than just skin on my bones!

I'll try to post a pre-fat photo of me when I find the time. Just so you can all see the difference.

Meanwhile, it's time for lunch. Gobble, gobble!

Little Big Thing

2007-04-20T10:51:00.001+08:00

It's all about the little things. Always.

I look around me and I see little things. Tiny, miniscule, minute details, situations, circumstances, and objects that somehow got together and decided to populate a vast nothingness and turn into The World.

So now I always tend to look for the little things that make up any big something. And I zero in on that little thing and try to understand it. I do this so that I wouldn't feel so intimidated by what appears initially as this gigantic monstrosity. By breaking it down to its subatomic level, I am able to make myself feel bigger than the big thing. It's my way of coping. It's my survival mode kicking in.

It's just a little thing, really. But it makes me feel big.

The Simple Life

2007-04-09T16:26:00.000+08:00

This was the first time we ever spent more than one day in my in-laws' Batangas home. Never thought I would have as much fun (or food) than I could have had spending it in the city to go about the usual Lenten rituals. Pablo had the best time of all, swimming three days in a row, non-stop till the sun was almost ready to go. He's so brown now that he looks so different (my mum nearly killed me for keeping him out in the sun for so long, but I did put sunscreen so I can't be blamed). I guess this new color is something we have to live with for a few weeks. I'm sure it'll fade in that time or less.

Anyway, what really struck me as unusual was the fact that I didn't miss home as much as I thought I would. I mean, apart from the Internet and the usual familiar comforts, there wasn't much that I wanted from our city home. I slept a lot, actually. That was probably one of the reasons why I didn't have time to think much. I spent a good part of the day dozing off. Loved it. And then there was the food - good, old fashioned, home-cooked meals, which I couldn't have enough of! We don't cook much at home (we don't really have time), so the aroma of sauteed garlic, onion, and tomatoes was HEAVENLY to me. And having a trained chef for a sister-in-law was simply DIVINE by itself.

The downside? The darned roosters making all that racket at four in the morning! What the cluck is that about??? Then I remember I'm in the country and there's not much I can do about it (unless I want to go all ballistic and go on a chicken-killing rampage). So I had to deal with that for two unforgiving mornings. My two boys, on the other hand, were completely oblivious to them, so I felt kind of out of place for overreacting and would just force myself back to sleep.

We would certainly do this again, i'm sure, and quite possibly turn it into an unofficial family tradition unless plans change (which they often do during the summer, given the pervading restlessness that comes with the heat).

We brought some of the comforts of home - Barney, Pablo's favorite comforter, and my Mac.

View of the backyard from our second floor bedroom window.

Having fun at the backyard. We love nature!

Second day of swimming and he still can't get enough of the water.

View of the front yard from the stairwell window.

Get better, Pablo.

2007-03-03T13:48:00.000+08:00

Pablo had been sketching that day, his chubby fingers grasping the felt-tip pen in his usual uneasy manner, and he stared up at me with an exasperated look in his face. "This is going to take forever, mom." He was coloring a frog.

I don't think any mother wants her child to grow up spoiled, or for that matter, bratty. So I thought it was best to give my four-year-old son a very profound truth. It got a little so confused, both for me and for him, that when I stopped talking, I was out of breath and my throat felt well...stressed. I hadn't realized that I'd been talking really loud and that my son has stopped absorbing anything a few seconds after the decibel meter rose, which, if my memory is correct, was well way into the second sentence.

Sometimes I forget he is only four, because when you talk to him, the boundaries just get a little blurred. He is precocious, to say the least, and has this strange manner of talking that borders on Yoda-ish. He squints his eyes, turns his head to one side, and puts his arm around himself before giving his speech. And boy, can he talk! Those who have met him know that only the first few minutes of his little-boy-man tirade is cute. The next several more are excruciating. You just want him to be a little kid again.

He got spanked a lot for talking too darn much. I do feel sorry when that happens. Especially when you come to realize that he is, after all, only three feet tall. It's just his darn language that gets you derailed. I sometimes close my eyes when he's doing his kilometric rants and it's easy to imagine him as a blown-up giant boy. Or Teofisto Guingona minus all the wrinkles.

He is sick today. My son, not Senator G. And it's eerily silent here at home. I asked him how he was feeling. Usually that would entail a very curt "fine," followed by a long enumeration of the toys he'd like to have so that he'd be "happy and great." But today he just shakes his head and doesn't even open his eyes.

I prefer him talking his head off than shaking it quietly. I prefer him acting like a little man.

I hope he gets well soon.

Nicths!

2007-02-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

I do not know anything.
I do not know anything.
I do not know anything.
I do not know anything.
I do not know anything.

I know nothing.

This is what you learn after twenty-nine years, when not even Nostradamus can predict what will and will not happen.

Priceless.

Bear with me now...i gotta talk

2007-01-13T22:13:00.000+08:00

Freedom is exorbitant.

I have always believed in independence and bravely (well, almost) staked my claim for it when the time came for me to leave the nest some six odd years ago. And contrary to what many people say, you will never know that time until it actually comes. My own "moment of truth" came at a very inopportune time. But wanting to be free is a challenge all by itself, and its beginnings are usually the most difficult to contend with. But it had to happen, and so it did.

I'm sure you've heard and read all that has been said about standing up on your own, but let me just tell you that you will never understand any of those trite proclamations until you're right smack in the middle of the verse. The enormity of the entire situation will drown you within seconds! Suddenly you'll find yourself swimming in responsibility with no one else to throw you a lifeline for miles and miles ahead. It hits you right about then: you're on your f*&^%g own! And then the second wave of doubt splashes in your face: what the f^%$k was I thinking???

Seriously, it's nothing short of heartbreaking. And the more you worry, the less gets done. So in a radical call to action you pull all your senses back into the drawing board and start another plan. That's the exact moment when YOU GROW UP. You stop hitting your head with the calculator, you stop looking at the ceiling for an opaque god, you stop praying for a deus-ex-machina sequence, and you stop imagining what you would rather be doing than what you were confronted with at that very minute. Instead, you face the ugly bastards with a smirk on your face and start a list of things you can now do without. (Ouch!)

Don't get me wrong...there isn't a day that I don't wish for a different life; one without the mortgage, the bills, the tuition...but as many as they are, these days don't outdo the few ones that are marked with clarity of objective and relative calm. These may be few and far between, but when they do come, they give me sense of peace that I never knew before, which I attribute to the fact that I've never had a clear goal back in my hedonistic living-with-parents days.

Apparently, all you need to succeed in this situation is to mature faster than nature would have you. It's a running game, a neverending chase for that elusive state of AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE. But you will know that you're getting there when you start putting other peoples' needs before your own, which simply translates to a rise in generosity and understanding in your "Look at Me Now" graph.

Every month, even more regularly than my period, I have a nasty spell. I am possessed by the BITCH SPIRIT that resides in every normal, middle class-bred, practical woman. Them bills have come. I cringe at every bill I get in the mail and curse every known corporation in the Fortune 500 list. As if my doing so helps me get through the month without having to pawn my own wedding ring or sell my own soul to Donald Trump. But it does help release all the bad energy that is threatening to take over my sanity and good sense.

So what am I really trying to get at (apart from the fact that I hate paying bills)? It's simple. Freedom costs a darn lot. But when you've paid for it with your vital organs and still come out of the O.R. walking on your two wobbly legs, you know you've made it to the first rung of the ladder of contentment and peace of mind.

I may not have a whole lot of cash laying about in the bank, but I still have it better than the guy who's got fat pockets but still has to sneak his date through the back door or the bedroom window because he might wake mommy up.

I DO love my life. It may not be in Hello Magazine's list of lifestyles to envy, but it's mine and I MADE IT ON MY OWN. As for the daily battles? Well, what life isn't made of them? I'm sure even Dr. Phil has some off days, so I'll just deal with them like I always do - with a bottomless jug of optimism and a fistful of Valium.

Wide Awake

2007-01-09T22:04:00.000+08:00

Today was made for epiphanies. It possessed a clarity that lent the open and welcoming viewer a look into the world through its own revelatory eyes. I am one such curious looker, and through it I saw a myriad of truths that were not entirely unknown to me, but had once been blurry and out of focus. But I still don't have a full understanding of what I need to do, or whether or not something needs to be done and when. What I do know is that change is necessary, a radical one, to be sure. I do know that time is short and that opportunities are dwindling and I need to make haste if I am to catch up with this universal flux, this unending erosion, the ebbing of tides.

Today is made for sleepers and passive onlookers. Today everyone wakens from a degenerative stupor. Today is made for me. I take the message with a certainty I've never known before. I clasp it firmly in my fist and hold it close to my chest like an oath. I hereby declare my loyalty to this jolting truth: I am at the mercy of my own hands. I am a product of my own doing.

Celebrate!

2007-01-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

As the clock struck 12, I was pulling the trigger of a toy gun - the kind that makes this revving noise in continuous streams - and jiggling a coin bank filled with foreign change. Does this mean I'd be gun toting and hopping to strange places for the rest of the year? I think not. But it gives me this sense of malicious joy just thinking about that remote possibility. Macabre. Titillating.

On that note, let me greet everyone an explosive new year of the fire pig. Hah. Even that sounds a little too weird. Joy, joy, joy to everyone on Earth and to the distant non-planet Pluto. Adios, amigo. May you have better things to do now that you don't need to explain your weird orbital patterns.

Welcome 2007! Let's hope you've got something much, much more interesting up your sleeve. Otherwise, Madam Auring and her cohorts would be coming up with those totally generalized, unbelievably dumb predictions that speak more about their ignorance than their sixth (godawful) sense.

In short: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Bawal na Boga

Holiday Greetings!

2006-12-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

We hope you're sharing this happy season with your family and friends. And to those who have less or no reason to celebrate this year, we pray that you at least find something to be thankful for, even if it is just being alive. Here's to more hugs, more kisses, and more toasts to life! And in the words of my son: "Happy birthday, Jesus!"

Fernandez Family on Christmas Eve

Holiday Hoopla

2006-12-22T12:21:00.000+08:00

If only Christmas cheer could be bought...

I've been overly stressed these past few days that I have not been able to do much of anything else, let alone update this blog. It's been a nerve-wracking experience, this holiday rush, what with all the parties I had to go to and gifts that had to be bought. It's completely whack! All that mad dash to and from the malls, finding that one perfect present for every person you know in the planet. Completely insane!

The upside is that you get a few presents for yourself, too. And I'm very lucky that I've gotten quite a few cool ones, which is kind of new to me since I'm already used to receiving crappy stuff year after year after year...but maybe my luck is changing because I seem to be getting lots of "useful" presents now. Let's just hope this good fortune continues.

I've been to three parties already, not counting those that I directed, and I've enjoyed the first two. The other one was, well, disappointing at best. A non-party, actually. Boring and forgettable. Our company party, on the other hand, was a BLAST! My department performed an ethnic number for the Wishcraft Idols competition and we won third place. Not bad at all, considering the very tight time frame and limited resources. Here are some pictures of that night:

by loyva

And now, I have simply to do my groceries and wait for the inevitable midnight get together on Christmas eve. I don't cook but my husband does, and the way it's going, I'm already mighty stressed in his behalf. I just want to get through this entire celebration with my sanity still intact, or at least in big chunks so I can still super glue it back together.

But as they all say, 'tis a season to be jolly, so I'll put on my big smile and hold it for three more days. Merry Christmas everyone, and let's hope your own holiday shindig is not as neurotic as mine.

(Fireworks here...or not.)

Ticking the days

2006-12-06T17:33:00.000+08:00

I had a very lumpy weekend. And Monday was sullen. Tuesday was uneven. And today...well, today is testy, very testy.

I had a good Tuesday meal, though. Greek. It was very palate-enlightening. So, at least I have something of Tuesday that is worth keeping in my wallet, for old time's sake.

I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow. But it's coming anyway, no matter what I try to do, even if I lie on the street and get run over by my husband's own wheels. It will come, if not for me, then for everyone else who will bug me about it anyway, sooner more than later.

Sheesh.

Prepare!

2006-11-30T19:00:00.000+08:00

A storm's coming. We are sitting ducks waiting for the inevitable to strike. What am I most afraid of? The blackout. The interminable silence following the ceasure of all light and sound. That is creepy. I plan to hoarde batteries and candles and find myself a good, dependable rechargeable fan.

May the forces that be help us and save us all.

Kids say the smartest things...

2006-11-28T12:10:00.000+08:00

I received this via Email and couldn't resist posting it here. Enjoy!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (Who said boys do not have brains)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7 (I could not have said it better myself)

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that.
- Curt, age 7 (Good Point)

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule)

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm
never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
- Theodore, age 8 (Too much detail for his age)

(2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

(1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck.
- Ricky, age 10 ( The boy already understands)

The Amazing Pablo

2006-11-27T13:12:00.000+08:00

I love spending the day at home with my son. It's therapeutic to be with someone who is in complete awe of the world around him, and who appreciates the single, most mundane details of his everyday environment. Earlier this week he had started on coloring a book which I bought for him. I was watching TV, my feet up, a cold glass of OJ in my hand. My son looked at me from where he was sprawled on the floor and casually said: "Mom, let's color together. It's called teamwork."

You can imagine my surprise. My son has just turned four and already his vocabulary is much wider than any kid his age (and I've talked to many, trust me). Of course I couldn't refuse, so I sat crossed leg on the floor and colored away. We kept turning the pages, looking for interesting images to color, and we chanced upon an elephant wearing a ribbon, and my son said: "That's an elephant pretending to be a girl, mom."

I couldn't think of a single thing to say after that. My husband and I exchanged a bewildered look and we just shook our heads in disbelief. Whatever it is they have been teaching him at school, it's making my son sound more and more like a 40 year old. And it's not bad at all.

(Somehow whenever the thought of my son's education comes up, I keep picturing the clones in The Island, and how they're fed information through tubes and wires and subliminal messages. Weird.)

So, yes, I think my son is learning quite A LOT already. He is like a wet sponge. He absorbs everything in nanoseconds. Like one time we were watching a dinosaur flick and he looked at the different species of dinosaurs and started mouthing off their names: Pterosaur, Stegosaur, Hypsilophodon, Diplydochus, Triceratops, Corythosaur, Allosaurus, etc. etc. We have a dinosaur encyclopedia for kids. I bought this for him because I saw his marked interest in the subject. Not to mention that he has collected quite a large number of Dino Puzzle Eggs and dinosaur figures. So just to check if he was saying ACTUAL dino species (and not just some random gibberish), I turned to the book to check. I was so proud! My son couldn't read complicated words yet, but we read to him every night, so that's how he probably rememembered the names and associated them to the images. And he has MEMORIZED every single one! Woohoo!

A friend of mine has suggested having my son tested to check if he was gifted or not. I'm not sure I want to subject him to that kind of unecessary pressure. Of course I'd like to know if he is actually gifted, but a test sounds too tedious and quite frankly, a bit intimidating. So I'll just observe him on my own for now and see how he progresses.

We bought him a Rubik's cube recently and we're waiting for him to figure it out on his own. Second to dinosaurs, my son loves puzzles. And to date, he has already put together a 150-piece dino puzzle all by himself, without instructions, and without a sample picture to match. Yes, yes, it's all amazing.

These are the moments when motherhood is a gift and a truly remarkable experience.

(P.S. I've never solved a Rubik's cube EVER before in my life. So I'm not touching the thing because there's no way I can put it back to its original formation. Geez, I'm such a loser! Anyone got tips or cheat codes? Hehehe...)

Yellow Gold

2006-11-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

So, sometimes you feel yellow, right? And people just tick you off for no reason. And the music seems much louder than usual, the aircon too effing cold, and nothing is going right. That's yellow for me. It's like a jaundiced day made even crazier by the fact that you taste copper in your mouth. It all feels a lot screwed up until you realize you can change colors if you concentrate hard enough. But how can you concentrate when even the sound of paper makes you gnash your teeth?

There is no cure or solution. Someone should invent something pronto.

Then give me a call, will you? I'm turning gold. I look like Nefertiti after a bronzer overdose. And don't you dare laugh. It ain't funny.

A weird day, indeed.

Ah...mmm...

2006-11-17T22:39:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've been suffering from involuntary eye twitches, a sort of facial tic that just won't go away. A lot of people think it's stress and I do believe them. I feel overworked, mentally raped and ravaged, and I have chronic shoulder pain. I should probably sleep more, think less, eat healthy, exercise, yadda yadda yadda... Oh, and I recently found out that I'm at moderate risk of contracting Osteoporosis. Hah. How 'bout that.

So tonight I treated myself to something nice. After all, my lifeline is short and that means I should live in hi-speed mode. I bought a nice, thin box (well, all their boxes are thin, anyhow) of Lord Stow's famous egg tarts. Yum. Sugar fix is all it takes to make me happy and forget all my little troubles. Facial tic or not, I love 'em tarts.

Try one sometime. They're really gooood...

***Lord Stow's is located at Tomas Morato, Q.C. near McDonald's

The Macau Story and then some...

2006-11-16T12:04:00.000+08:00

Finally, I can sit down and try to recapture my Macau experience in writing.

But first, let me tell you all about my trip to Mactan (which I also enjoyed immensely) and our visit to the Avilon Zoo in Montalban.

November 1 - just when everyone else flocked to the cemeteries for the Day of the Dead, Acid drove us to Montalban to see the Avilon Zoo. For Pablo, it wasn't his first time, having gone there once before with my sister and her then American boyfriend. But for Acid and me, it was a totally exhilarating experience, seeing so many animals in such lush scenery and (wonders of wonders) well-maintained grounds. Quite a leap from the zoos we knew as kids. We had a great time, and the food was not all that bad, either. Pablo had the most fun, of course, because he is completely fascinated with animals, dinosaurs especially.

November 5-7 - the Anlene team flew to Cebu to bring the ballroom fever to the Cebuanos. After a very successful show (what a huge turnout that event yielded!), we decided to celebrate by going on an inter-island tour of Mactan. The ocean was beautiful, the islands and beaches completely secluded, and best of all, the fish were very friendly! We fed them bread and "puso" (Cebu rice wrapped in dried, woven leaves), and they would come to us in small groups. We were in total awe! After a hearty lunch on the boat courtesy of our ever-generous coordinator Chai, we took to the open water to snorkel and feed more fish at the sanctuary. This was right in the middle of the ocean, my friends, and I am not a great swimmer at all! But I set my fears aside for a few moments to allow myself to become vulnerable. And I saw the biggest fish ever! I almost choked! Lets just say that I didn't put on my mask again after that. Har har. Highlight of that trip: seeing an enormous jellyfish - according to Tess, a Portuguese Man of War - washed ashore. I've never seen anything like it. Too bad it was already dead. Saw some starfish too, and several flying fishes. I loved it! The whole trip was absolutely wonderful. I will definitely come back.

Click on the thumbnail below to view the album:

by loyva

November 11-14 - welcome to Macau! I was fortunate enough to have been invited by my bosses to join them on their vacation to the beautiful city of Macau. It was the best thing that happened to me this year. Being in Macau was like being in Europe. It possessed that same kind of allure. Perhaps owing largely to its Portuguese architecture, Macau gives you the sense of being in a time warp, what with all the cobblestone steps, steep inclines, and ruins. I wish I could articulate the exact feeling better, but I'm still having a bit of difficulty doing just that. Maybe if I let it simmer inside for a while, I will have better things to say the next time I try to describe my experience. But for now, let me just say that it was both rewarding and relaxing. And not to mention thrilling! I did the Skywalk, 233 meters above ground, on the outer rim of the Macau Tower, with 8-year old Tala, my boss' daughter. What an adventure! The trip was punctuated with a short sojourn to Kowloon, to the ever-famous Mongkok shopping district, for approximately 9 hours of non-stop shopping (well, non-stop for my bosses, actually). I had run out of cash by 4pm, so by then I was merely a spectator. And boy, did I ever have fun!

More of my Macau trip in the coming days. I still have to absorb all the minute details and then I'll tell you all about it soon.

Ta-ta for now!

And if you have your own Macau experience to share, drop me a line and let's exchange stories!

To see some of the photos, check the post below and click on the thumbnail.

Enjoy!

Macau in Photos

2006-11-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

Before the story comes the pictures. So, here it is. Click on the thumbnail below to view the album.

by loyva

Another one...

2006-11-15T18:53:00.001+08:00

Again, found this link on Lotho's site. Hehe...link addict talaga ako!

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Hello

2006-11-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

I know...it's been a while.

I just got back from a very lovely trip to Macau. I will tell you all about it soon. I still have one more suitcase to unpack. And then I can begin to write about my amazing experience in the ex-Portuguese territory.

What a city, Macau. Those who have been there would agree, I'm sure.

Till the next post!

Beta Beginner

2006-11-09T21:05:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm sure you've noticed. I have a new template and layout.

That's because I've switched to Blogger Beta and I'm discovering A LOT of new features, which hopefully I will master.

Meanwhile, enjoy the new look and drop me a line or two. Tell me what you think of this facelift.

Toodles!

How will you be defined in the dictionary?

2006-11-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

FOUND THE LINK IN LOTHO'S SITE

Loyva --

[noun]:

A real life muppet

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

AND IN RELATION TO MY DICTIONARY DEFINITION:

What is your synonym?

Loyva's synonym --

insane (... as in preposterous!)

'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Death becomes...no one

2006-11-03T20:21:00.000+08:00

I went to visit my father's grave last Sunday. I went with some family members for the traditional Day of the Dead practice - only several days in advance. I never want to join the melee of the November 1 rush, with people flocking to cemeteries all at the same time. It makes the ritual of remembrance less solemn, much like a party than a moment of reflection and reminiscence. It doesn't seem right to me to remember your dearly departed while gambling for spare change and getting drunk over cheap brandy. Not my thing, really.

Since it was a day of remembering, I was bracing myself for a flood of memories about my father once I reached his resting place and saw his newly repainted tombstone, but no such flood came. Instead I was struck by a dull pain in my gut. The kind that you know is there but can't pinpoint exactly where. It just throbbed. There was no soothing it, no remedy. And I realized only much later that it wasn't pain. It was emptiness that gnawed at me. Finally I can openly admit that I feel incomplete without my father. For a long time after his death I feigned strength and acceptance. But the truth only just revealed itself to me that day. I am not strong. I have not completely accepted the fact that I no longer have a father. I tried to remember exact, tiny details about him to fill that hole. I wanted ONE distinct memory that would define my experience with him. A shared thought, a word that will mark his presence in my life. But at that very moment, when everything but loss seem indistinct, I could not, for the life of me, conjure that ONE memory. Instead I was assaulted by mental pictures of me and him. I was searching for a stop button to zero in on one thumbnail, at the very least, but to no avail. That's when death seemed more palpable, more real, and more imminent.

And that's when I became completely afraid of death.

You will never know loss until you experience a permanent one.

The Moment of Truth

2006-10-30T11:49:00.000+08:00

So...

I finally had that much-awaited (and much-delayed) check up with my OB Gyne Dr. O last Friday. I took my husband along for moral support. As Ate Vi herself put it: "You can never can tell," I just wanted someone there with me just in case.

To speed things up a bit, and also to lessen the margin for error and inaccuracies, Dr. O promptly wrote me a request form for TVS, which simply translates to Trans-Vaginal Sonogram. Women who have been through this very disturbing procedure would understand the discomfort of the entire process. The term trans-vaginal should be clue enough. The TVS was ordered to determine the following things:

1. Pregnancy
2. Suspicious masses/growths
3. Other possible anomalies

All of which would help Dr. O find out what is causing my three-month "dry spell." So, after some poking and probing, the Ultrasound physician told me, apart from the fact that there are no masses or growths, I am also (and this was a HUGE relief) not pregnant. Now, what of the fact that I haven't bled a drop for the last three months? She said there appeared to be a polycystic pattern. As to what that meant, Dr. O would explain to me in detail.

As soon as the prints were released, I rushed back to the 9th floor to give my doctor the result. And then I learned that polycystic meant that my follicles were not maturing, which translates to a halt in the regular menstrual cycle. Ergo: no menses. Ergo: dry spell.

I am not menopausal after all. It's just that my darn eggs are acting like juvenile freaks. Grow up, for the love of eggs, and get the Estrogen flowing!

Well, Dr. O put me on the examination table and poked me for the last time before giving me the verdict. I need some good ol' hormones, stat. Me darn eggs need some perker-upper to wake 'em up a bit. So a prescription for Provera was issued, and I was sent home with a slap on the butt cheek. And I was also told to start taking pills to normalize my Estrogen levels. Great. Just what I need, a pill to pop every frigging day.

I've only so far taken two Provera tablets and I'm now bleeding like a severed artery. Fancy that. At least, I'm not menopausal...yet. So that should be good news.

To celebrate this milestone in my nearly three-decade languishing here on Earth, here is a picture of a woman we'd all rather not look like when we reach 70.

Enjoy!

When it gets cold...

2006-10-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

Seventh Stop: Baguio, the City of Pines, the Summer Capital of the Philippines, and to thrift shop junkies - the ultimate "Ukay" heaven.

For me, it is the place that always makes me want to retire - to just drop everything and stop, sniff the air, and chill - literally.

So there we were, Evoy and I and the rest of the team, trying to take in the cold (Evoy was in very short shorts, by the way) as though it was just another incident of the everyday kind. But we nearly failed. It was damn cold! And I mean it in the most bone-chilling way, the kind that makes every fluid in your body freeze and stop flowing. I avoided most metals during the entire stay for fear of getting stuck to it like wet tongue on a block of ice. Or simply from getting shocked frozen. I had my fingers stuck into my armpits for most of the time to generate enough heat to keep them moving. But my teeth couldn't be kept from chattering.

The highlights of my weekend: seeing Ogie Braga in Nevada (we haven't seen each other in months!), chilling at the Bedroom Bar with Evoy and DJ Glen, and getting stuck on the zigzag road on our way down from the highlands (no, it wasn't our vehicle that had problems. It was one of the trucks that came with us that we had to rescue).

I wish I had better photos to post, but my digital cam isn't exactly top of the line so you have to bear with whatever images I place here. Don't worry, I am trying to save up for an entry level SLR, say Nikon D50. But that is like ages away, judging by my bank account balance and the holiday season lurking by like some hooligan on rampage. So there.

Enjoy!

Playing "hitch hiker" in Marcos Hi-way. Goodluck!

Si Ehvoy at ang Talampunay

Ang tatlong bugok sa shalang Bedroom Bar

I want to be...

2006-10-19T08:54:00.000+08:00

There are so many things you'd like to be when you're just a hop and skip away from the big three-oh. It's as if there is an unwritten code that says you have to have achieved a certain level of success before you reach that age. Whether it be in your personal or professional life, you must have already done something, well, worthy of the three decades you've so far spent on Earth.

I'm at that very volatile point. What should I have become now had I done things differently? For example, what if I never married? What if I changed professions, perhaps become an academician or a crazy person a.k.a. artist? What if I went abroad and pursued the dollar? I could be in a completely different place. I could be an entirely different person than who I am today.

But the question is: would I have been happy?

And more importantly: am I happy now where I am?

See, that kind of existential dilemma is plaguing me at this very moment. Maybe it's because I'm a year shy of that transitional age. When I hit thirty I would have already graduated from being ambiguous to plain cocky.

I can't **effing** wait.

Or...

I'll pretend that thirty is just a number you write at the bottom of the very last page of the manuscript.

Instead of the sharp sign, see?

I make less sense as I mature. Non-sequitur.

Happy day!

I could have been a junkie...I look the part.

Kumikitang Kabuhayan

2006-10-18T16:27:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, readers of all ages...

I have a very important announcement to make:

I'VE GOT ADS!

Kaya kung gusto ninyong suportahan ang aking munting kabuhayan, please click on the ads or use my Google Search bar for your web searches. Thanks.

Mabuhay ang mamamayang Pilipino!

USTories

2006-10-12T11:24:00.000+08:00

Pinadala lang sa akin to nung friend kong writer din na si Joseph Saguid:

"A fountain is now majestically enshrined at the center of ex-Colayco Park. The center fountain shoots about 25-feet high. Thomasians, especially those residing in nearby dormitories are now enjoying a new pasttime: showering."

Hala...

Kundi sa tubig baha, sa fountain naman. :)

Updates, updates!

2006-10-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

So it's been three months since I had The Visit (women would know what this is, so for purposes of clarification - especially for the men - it simply means the monthly period) and I am beginning to think that I belong to that very rare and marginalized group of women who experience menopause quite early. And I only just turned 29.

I cannot pinpoint exactly if it's the stress, the lack of sleep, my grasshopper metabolism (the eat-and-s*%t syndrome), or all of the above that contributed to my "dry" spell. But for whatever reason (no, dearies, I am not pregnant), the cycle has stopped and I don't know whether I should feel very lucky or if I should ram a jackhammer into my nether regions to give it a little wake-up jolt.

Sure, I'm not exactly a well-oiled machine, but to go completely dry? Seriously, that's sicker than Paris Hilton becoming a pre-school teacher or having any sort of responsibility, for that matter. So, I am a bit worried. What if something's gone totally awry in my system? What if I'm in real danger? I reckon, there's only one way to find out.

Get a pap smear. Stat.

Well, I haven't really gone for a check-up but I'm going to do it this week. Let's all hope it's nothing serious. I had a weird little lump in my armpit a few months back, and I worried myself sick over the fact that it could be cancer. So I went and had a full breast sonogram so I can rule out all the scary things that we're playing rhumba in my head. Thank goodness it was nothing. Fibro-something, I can't really recall. But the important thing was that it was harmless. Big whew.

*****

Now, for the most part, the past week went by quite smoothly, save for a little pre-event incident last Saturday night involving a drunken SPO1 and three of our bouncers. Let's just say that had it not been for the intervention of some top brass connections of my co-workers, those bouncers wouldn't have walked home the very next day. Or simply walked, period. Yeah...talk about horrifying.

Other than that, everything else was all right. I even got to spend time with my fellow writer Nery, who braved the three-hour commute all the way from Legaspi City just to be able to see me in Naga. Great guy, Nery. Wish I could go to Legaspi and tour the city with him soon.

As for Iloilo...well, that was quite an experience. I can't begin to describe how language can be a barrier for Ilonggos and Tagalogs. It makes you feel queasy, really, because it's not as if the two dialects are planets away from each other. Cebuanos are far easier to talk to and understand. But after the show in Iloilo, I was hoarse, exhausted, and absolutely frustrated.

And then there was the Amazing Race Asia Promotional Tour, which was uber-tiring, but which I enjoyed nonetheless. I watched AXN's coverage of the event last Saturday night and it felt good to know I've become part of something totally cool and groundbreaking.

And as always, here are a few snapshots to give you a rundown of how the past week and a half went by.

Enjoy!

With the Amazing Race Asia staff and host, Paolo Abrera

Goofing off after the show (bugbugin si Allan!)

The Vertical Loop: All strapped and ready! (Thanks, John, for this shot)

Buto't Balat Restaurant, Jaro, Iloilo City

The AFM Team at Hotel del Rio, Iloilo City

With Nery at Plaza Quezon, Naga City

With the AFM Naga Staff, after the gruelling two-part show

Akalain niyo yun...

2006-10-05T16:41:00.000+08:00

Dumaan na pala ang beerday ko, di ko man lang naramdaman.

Dati, tuwing birthday ko, siguradong may inuman sa big sky. Ngayon, shet, nagta-trabaho ang lola niyo habang tumatanda ako ng isa pang taon. Bwakanabits. Wat da fruit is going on? Sobra na akong alila ng salapi!!! Hindi ito tama. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Kaya naman nagpapasalamat ako sa mga prendliness na bumati sa akin despite the raging storm. Eto kasing si Milenyo, walang patawad. Bumira ng todo a day before my birthday, kaya nung mismong araw na ng kaarawan ko, walang kuryente, walang telepono, walang kahit ano. Olats. Walang ganap.

So ayun, marami akong kaibigan na belated na bumati dahil walang Internet. Di sila na-remind ng Ringo, Friendster, at My Birthday Alarm. Eh lahat pa naman tayo halos wholly dependent na sa mga linsyak na net services na yan. Di na uso ngayon yung nagmamarka ng pula sa kalendaryong intsik with matching moon cycles at Chinese subtitles. Eh pati nga ako, nakalimutan ko na sariling birthday ko no. Ano ba yun?

Para di na kayo mahiwagaan, ako po ay tumanda na naman ng isang taon noong Setyembre veinte nueve, mil dos siyentos sais. Which makes my birthday super tarush dahil sa sumusunod na dahilan: September is the 9th month, my birthday is on the 29th, and I just turned 29 years old. May tatlong nueve. Swerti. Luckee. Trulili.

Kaso offline ang lotto outlets nung araw na yun kaya olats pa rin. Di ako nakataya. Sayang. Sana milyonarya na ako ngayon. Oh well. Such is life.

O siya, batiin niyo na ako. Better late than pregnant, sabi nga nila. Diba?

"Been there. Been that."
- Melanie "Don't judge me, I'm not a book" Marquez

WINNER!

2006-10-03T14:21:00.000+08:00

Panalo ang USTE. Kampyon na naman tayo, mga Tomasino!

Congratulations! Mabuhay ang UST Tigers! Mabuhay ang manlalarong Tomasino!

Speechless ako sobra. This is absolutely overwhelming, especially from a Thomasian reared in the generation of Siot Tangquincen, Patrick Fran, et al who brought us to a three-peat victory in their time. After 1999, the entire Thomasian community has waited for a championship. And today, we revel in this much-deserved triumph.

I feel so proud to be a Thomasian. Ang sarap ng feeling. :)

Go USTE, Go USTE! Go, go, go, go!!! Viva Santo Tomas!