Faith as Sport

I woke up to grayish skies, the sound of the TV in the living room, nippy air, the stale smell of dishes waiting to be washed, and Anne Rice quitting Christianity.

I look at the figure of my husband passed out on the couch, his feet dangling on the edge, and the flapping curtain forming orange shadows on his face and thought to myself: "Well, isn't that convenient?" 

Quitting Christianity, I meant. 

I know the institution that propagates Christianity is flawed at best, but can you really still say you are a Christian without necessarily belonging to some organization that promotes it? Is it really possible?

These are dangerous thoughts for a breakfast-deprived, pregnant woman who is teetering on the brink of junk food snacking. I masticate instead on the idea of faith as sport. 

People switch faiths like they switch teams, trade leaders and heads like they trade star athletes, not to mention the politics that govern both isn't at all that different. The same caucuses run the gamut of organized religion anyway, pretty much the same way that big-time managers and mob bosses control the sporting industry, albeit more discreetly and strategically.

But I digress.

So can one really quit one's faith? Can I simply throw in the towel on, say, Catholicism, and  just go cold-turkey on God? I shudder at the thought. But...I do understand the futility that drove Rice to give up on what she aptly describes as a "quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group" that is Christendom. But she explains that she is still committed to Christ, just not to the conglomerates that run these businesses under Christ's nose (or his cross, whichever you prefer).

I hearken back to the lecturing days of my now-peacefully deceased father who is a staunch believer, activist, and promoter of Catholicism. An ex-seminarian who discovered Christ on the eve of his 30th birthday, my father believed himself to be the "opus" of faith. A masterpiece of God, who, like Lazarus, was reborn into faith in such a miraculous and epiphanic moment we can only describe today as phenomenal. If my father, bless his soul, were alive today, he would prostrate before the altar and pray fervently for the soul of Rice and for her forgiveness from the Father. There would be NO WAY anyone would ever justify to him what Rice is trying to do here. To him, faith is useless without support from an organization. He always thought unguided belief will lead one astray, hence, the extremists and the lackadaisical. In both cases, the lack of guidance is always apparent.

I wish I could talk to Rice and really get under her skin. I would like to know how she can just do this. I have always harbored some doubt about my own faith and have really lost the tenacity I once had for religion. It would be eye-opening to find out what reasons drove Rice to make such a shocking decision. 

In the meantime, I look at the rosary that Pope John Paul II himself blessed in the Vatican - a gift from my father confessor back in my pious days - and wonder: will God understand? 

I'm still waiting for His answer.